Maybe we are perfect. Perfect in our own ways...

Step forward

2010-06-19T18:27:00.002+08:00

migration of the mind...
http://sightwalk.tumblr.com/

All Things Sharp and Sweet

2010-04-09T23:53:00.006+08:00

following a whole week of workload, i'd have to say my week didn't turn out as bad as expected
instead, it ended on a pretty high note
with God's grace, i've managed to sail through the week
so, here are the details...

firstly, the humanities week, or i would like to call the "inhumane week"
i was slapped in the face with tons of work to be settled
starting with my SEA history project
fortunately, my presentation, which was expected to suck since there was probably a mere 20 words in total, was being postponed
then, in preparation for the main events on wednesday, countless of decisions had to be made in minutes
like the rental of clothes to dress up a classmate for the "masquerade competition" (it costed around $50)
as well as the distribution of work, the last minute settings of all things required
really had to squeeze dry my brain
crashing at the sofa for consecutive days, waking up to realise that there's a whole pile of shitload to be settled
but it all paid off this morning when my class was announced as the winners of the competition, as well as $80 worth of swensens vouchers!
that was, after a few seconds of wondering why i was being pulled out from the class early in the morning
(being called out by teachers give me the creeps everytime)
but now, it's just a matter of time before the good taste of swensens food lands in my mouth
YUM!!!

as for the few hours that has just passed, it was pretty much satisfying
catching up with your friends, the lil kiddies
(I'M IN JC! I'M A BIG BOY, BAYBEH!!)
as well as your past teachers, some whom you'd speak to, and others who give you the worst of stares that forces an involuntary smile on your face
well, at least we acknowledge each other's presence
so, the awards nite wasn't as grand as one might think
like a failed remake of the prom night in a school hall
well, at least some of the food was delicious
(AAAAHHHH~!!! I LOVE THE FAJITAS!!!!)
so throughout most of the event, my ears were practically attacked with words that are desperately coughed out to kill the silence
it only equates to one thing: boredom
well, at least i still got to go up on stage to receive my cert and $30 borders gift card
and to add on to that, mdm nora handed me a handwritten well-wishes card and $50 kinokuniya vouchers
so it's now 80 and 80 worth of vouchers and gift card
but i don't even know what to buy at bookshops
music magazines, perhaps??

and after all that, i've come to realise that i haven't really thanked my teachers for what they've done
being a relatively shy guy, i hope the teachers already know that this previous student of theirs really appreciate what they've done
despite everything else that happened which is not necessary to talk about
still, i do feel bad not doing so
but if i were to do so, i'd expect questions on why i took a long time to just say thanks
then again, i didn't really perform well enough to make them proud and think that they deserve a token of appreciation
my appreciation might not even have any meaning
ah, well, i'm not going to do so anyway
let's just hope they won't fret about this
they're suppose to be mature people after all, eh?

Resurrection

2010-04-03T10:05:00.002+08:00

i know, i know
it's been some time since i've posted something here
not that i'm abandoning this blog or anything
but as a jc student... (you should know how to end this statement)
but with the ounce of motivation by my GP teacher, i've decided to blog this week
a little review on life, a mix and match of all things possible

as some, or perhaps everyone may know, i've already bought a new phone
after years of persuasion and two weeks of finding money,
which got very annoying at some point of time
finally came the time where i would no longer have to dwell about getting a phone
i've rejoiced, and now i'm enjoying this hassle-free life (communication-wise, perhaps)
till now, i still haven't really explored my phone much
and i still don't know how to use wi-fi at home nor add songs to my phone...

there's also the class outing which came up a day or two after i bought my phone
one month is definitely a long time without meeting my classmates
(and we still stick to the prisoner numbers as the class name)
it was a great time to catch up with them, on all things crappy and necessary
despite the absence of some, it was still a joyous occasion
nonetheless, i do hope at least almost everyone would be able to make it the next time
(the last time almost everyone attended a class event was probably the class camp)

then there's the hockey 4-a-side carnival
my team, made up of only jc1s, literally got down and dirty during the matches
the allocated pitch was pretty much like a pigsty
(you can check the photos on facebook for a more detailed view on this)
though we lost most of the matches against the poly teams as well as cjc,
we managed to produce a win against MI through a 20-minute penalty shootout
i suppose it was a good exposure to the game
and a note to self: the padang, though sounds very grand, is NOT how you think it is...

and lastly, the jc life
fffffFFFFFFFFF~~~!!!!!
the end.

"if there are any answers that we haven't searched for
just type in your code and say a prayer"

The Sheep Comes In Second. (Define "F_____d")

2010-02-19T21:32:00.005+08:00

lies. all lies.
i live a life of lies.
wasted years.
worthless life.
cheap trust.
cheeky smiles.
cheated feelings.
choking back the tears from my eyes.
miserable.
indigestible.
incorrigible.
unstable.
gullible.

a moment of self-realization.
the highly-emphasized question: why?
to open my arms. my head. my heart.
i was a strong believer.
faith. trust. love.
and letting moments define us, reality answers undesirably.
everyone turns against me.

my humble giving to you.
you. all of you.
i lent you my eyes, my ears, my words, my time, my head, my heart.
i lent you me.
but appreciation was never a universal characteristic.
you abused all that i gave you.
where have all the years of knitting this social fabric gone to?
what have i ever been?
what have you ever seen in me?
am i such a despicable figure?
a frivolous piece of matter?
what have i ever done to deserve this?

i feel so ashamed.
so embarrassed.
so lost in humour and desolation.
yet, again and again, i fall. and fall. and fall. and fall for it.
and again. and again. and again. and again. and again.
and i can keep this up. for there will never be an end to this.
because it is out of my capabilities.
the answer to it is out of question.
and the more we speak, the more i give, the less i know.
because every piece of my trust will only mask it further.
until you break that mask.
until you speak the truth.
until you make me realize.
then i will be left speechless.
then i will ask more.
then everything will repeat once more.

and being frank would be impossible.
because i can't tell.
i would have locked myself away from you.
i would have cried on a lonely night.
i would be left in despair.

because you made me feel this way.
you made me feel like shit. the literal shit.
taken in, as freely as can be.
absorbing all that is desired.
ignoring what is left behind.
and thrown away. never to be seen. never to be noticed. never to be bothered.
and a... person once said to me,
"i don't regard you as a friend.
i don't regard you as an acquaintance.
i don't regard you as...
i don't regard you as..."
and it would be clear what i was regarded as.
nothing.

and tomorrow, i will wake up.
i will smile.
and everything will repeat itself.
the face of lies.
the state of having realized.
because i am gullible.
i am not appreciated.
i am stupid.
and i can't find any other word to replace it because that's the way i am.
and that's the way i'll stay forever.
and your perceptions of me won't change.
i will change.
in cycles. in repetitions.
because it is always the same.
like counting sheep.

Redeem What's Lost, Giving Away What's Mine

2010-02-14T13:17:00.007+08:00

i have been convincing myself that i need to change
change for the better
and for changes to occur, sacrifices have to be made
this is going to be my biggest sacrifice yet...

for years, i've always tried to put others' interests ahead of mine
spending my time to be with them
neglecting all of my other personal interests
thinking that it was an act of righteousness
and that i would be treated fairly well in return

for months, i've felt that my efforts were worthless
i have not gained the love and respect i yearned for
i plagued my mind with all things involving disappointment and rage
this marks the start of my change, but in the wrong path

for weeks, i've tried to think everything out
my life, my desires, my true commitments
i sought advice from some of my fellow friends
supportive they were of my intended move
yet, i was still shrouded in uncertainty

for the past few days, i've observed the many people around me
the close ones and the ones who are becoming close
in my search for answers, i've realised that i was being foolish, selfish, and all the other related adjectives
and now, i'll have to rethink my choices
with a smile on my face, i know this time, it's not too hard to decide what i want and what i will do...

...and i tried keeping this post simple and easy to read.

"i don't know where i'm going
but i'm bound to see
what i'm capable of being
if the world's taking me
and i know, he knows, she knows, we know
can't change history, but history is what's changing me"

Wake Up Calls

2010-01-11T20:43:00.003+08:00

an unfortunate victim, i thought i was
getting whipped by mistake
laid on the floor, bearing the pain
rage pulled me up, i gave him a chase to the living room
struck a few hits on his back
he strafed left, towards the gate
managed to push him out a little, retaliation
i got pushed all the way to the door of the master bedroom
jerked him back, put him off balance
tripped him backwards, he slipped off the carpet
laying on the floor motionless, with eyes wide open.
and fire was lost in a moment.
oh fuck. oh fuck. oh fuck.
he was hardly breathing
no! wake up! wake up! WAKE UP!!!

...i woke up.
a nightmare. of life and death.
he who just took the trouble to take care of the sick me last night became an enemy in mind.
he is my dad.
how did i ever end up dreaming of this?
a sign for me to give him a little extra appreciation?
perhaps.
but that was terribly wrong...
that wasn't me.
i pray that it wouldn't occur to me.
and him.

as for my results, it was far worse that expected
despite spending solemn days on work and minimal sleep,
i find it rather depressing not to achieve what i aimed for
now i find myself on the lower ground
i know i did things wrongly
now i have to make up for it
i must get rid of 'lazy'
look back and learn how to adopt the subtle habits of my fellow classmates who've achieved glory
"be the best that you can be." - ms. tan siew piang (i don't know how this got in my head)
and the tracks will be replaced once more...

"and this is not what i hoped for
wake, wake up
wake, wake up..."

Ennui

2010-01-07T20:43:00.003+08:00

homesick? or sick of home?
day by day, driven out of the house due to boredom or obligations
i'm not living how i want to live
my sole purpose of living becomes lost as i get stuck in this physical world
grabbing hold of everything i consider being able to give me 'life'
seize the moment? yes.
living life to the fullest? a definite no.
a self-taught knowledge gets rewritten over and over, but practising it only comes occasionally
i've put it to sacrifice, but restoration has minimal outcomes
as i write this, i've come to notice
am i fretting because i lack appreciation??
perhaps.
but one thing's for sure
i have to keep moving before my time runs out

"if you lost everything in a moment, would you notice?
could you rebuild something so hopeless?
are you hopeless?
and when you wake alone, with no one left to hold,
you won't need to know all the things i know."

Moscow Was In Singapore

2009-12-22T23:38:00.014+08:00

for the past few days, i've been spending most of my days out of the house
in fact, the only day i stayed at home was, errm, yesterday i think
perhaps the best two days were the weekends
went to see CLOSURE IN MOSCOW!!!
i bet anyone reading this got no freakin' idea who they are, but it doesn't matter
i'm posting this for myself anyway
(it's MY BLOG!)

so, on saturday, went to see them at *SCAPE The Lab
a kind of small room for small gigs i suppose
got to meet them up close and personal!
but before that, i have to tell you, my journey should have only five minutes
instead, i took 45 minutes to get there
i was highly confident of myself that i knew the way
i keep remembering the straight road in the map
unfortunately, my route led me straight to Plaza Singapura
THAT IS SOOOO NOT THE WAY TO *SCAPE!!!
i spent most of my time walking from Plaza Singapura to Istana Park, and back again
with my dying handphone, i managed to send a message to marilyn, asking her for directions
(guys, when you don't know the directions, drop your ego and ask for directions!)
well, getting a reply might not mean anything to most people
but i regarded the reply as heaven-sent
so, with the much needed help, i made my way towards Orchard Cineleisure
on the way, i asked for more directions from a kind carpark attendant
it was already past 5pm then
made a frantic dash to the skate park, searched for a map, went further to reach my destination

time of arrival: 5.15pm
i missed their first song!!!
when i arrived, Closure In Moscow was already playing their second song, Pony
(it's a cover, and it's kinda horny, but catchy)
as i entered, i walked past the two caucasians, oblivious to the fact that they were the band members
yeah, how silly
had a little Q&A session, listening to the bands past and their progress in making it this far
all the joy and laughter was marred by the foolish words of a poser
whenever the band mentioned a few other band names, he would diss them
ignoring the fact that everyone else was jeering at him
the band then wrapped it up with two other songs, A Night At The Spleen and Deluge
(a night at the spleen makes a really great song for a night filled with partying and dancing)

after the session, they were kind enough to stay for a moment and took a hell lot of photos with everyone
i somehow managed to sneak into one of the pictures
actually, they just invited everyone to take a photo together
so yeah, i got into one of the photos with the band
then i realised my phone battery was flat.
_____(feel free to add in any vulgarities here)
once again, had to ask for help
i went to a lady who was part of *SCAPE's committee
(yeah, she was undeniably cute)
despite being busy, she gladly directed me to the phone at the reception
so, i helped myself to it and called my bro, met him, blah blah blah, end of story here
oh, and i had to give their night time performance a miss...

next day, went to the last day of performances with ilham
drank a few cups of 7-up revive
yup, freeloaders
watched Tacit Aria (local band) perform a song
then there was this bunch of idiots trying to open up a mosh pit, but no one else joined them
so they started jumping around like retards
if you can imagine kids jumping non-stop while punching their hands in the air, you can certainly imagine them
then the host advised that we don't get ourselves injured, so no moshing
YAY!!!
then, went off for a while, walked around cineleisure
after that, we returned for CLOSURE IN MOSCOW!!!
oh, yeah, before that, i went to ask for autographs by three of their members
nothing to sign on, so i just allowed them to sign on my shirt, hehe
if only i was wearing the band's tee, it would be more meaningful...
then there was this FREAKING LUCKY GIRL WHO WON AN AUTOGRAPHED GIBSON REVERSED FLYING V GUITAR!!!
JEALOUS!!! but well, congrats to her

now, on to their performance...
IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!
the guitar riffs were superb, and Chris (singer) didn't went off key at all
it was a HELL OF A PERFORMANCE!!!
started with A Night At The Spleen, then Vanguards
then in no particular order: We Want Guarantees... Not Hunger Pains, Here's To Entropy, Kissing Cousins, Dulcinea
and they sealed it off with Jewels For Eyes
then, they came back for an encore
personally one of the best songs of 2009: SWEET#HART!!!
an awesome ending to the event
Ilham was also convinced that they were really awesome, hehe
so, that was pretty much how i spent my weekends
well, i guess that's the end of my post...
oh, wait, i think i'm gonna post a few pics for once...

from left: Manny, Beau, Brad, Michael (Barrett), Chris

they "kindly invited" me to take this pic with them

Beau with the new Gibson Dusk Tiger electric guitar that they featured as part of the event

i still see your face
you're safe in my sleep again...

Broken Compass

2009-12-16T11:36:00.002+08:00

it seems obvious that there is nothing much for me to do right now
after madrasah (religious class/school??) exams, i'm back to no business
despite having borrowed three books and two comics last week, i'm still as bored as hell
actually, i haven't really started reading the books
my long list of holiday agendas is probably lost somewhere in my head
haven't even started writing songs
nor have i brushed my guitar skills
nor did i go jamming, in which, there is a very small likelihood of it
bandmates are too busy with work, while i'm rotting at home
nah, not really rotting, i head to the gym quite often nowadays
oh yeah, i just remembered about this...
http://yulz-revelations.blogspot.com/2008/11/road-to-becoming-ironman.html
that was a loooong time ago, but i'm still as skinny
and my weight's stuck at 52kg

so, besides my attempts to buff my body, yeah, nothing much
haven't planned on how to customize my shoes
oh, i now suck at drawing as well (did i tell you about this before??)
so, what good am i now??
besides being able to help my mom with some housework
now, i need ideas
ideas on what to do, ideas on what to draw, ideas on what to play on the guitar
so, any suggestions left on the tagboard would be much appreciated
in the meantime, i hope you guys enjoy the new songs on the player
pray hard that the player doesn't fail this time...

"i awoke, only to find my lungs empty
through the night, so it seems i'm not breathing
and now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be
and i'm breaking down, i think i'm breaking down..."

Yeah, it's raining outside at the moment...

2009-12-04T16:35:00.003+08:00

two-thirds of a month gone, and i haven't really done anything productive
so far, after the prom, life has been, well, lifeless
in and out of the house, eating up on my parents' money
so aimless i am that i might just go over the ledge this next moment...

nah, i'm not into suicides
besides, like what switchfoot sang
"we were meant to live for so much more"
anyways, i'm very reluctant to stay at home
everything i planned to work on is here, so i myself am uncertain why i should go out
besides finding a job, that is
and i would like to meet my 4/7 mates often
however, i cringe whenever i hear about some of my fellow classmates already getting a job
yet, it is a motivation for me to get one myself
but things haven't really been going my way
so yeah, it gets kinda stressful
oh, and i've started to become more lazy to go to the gym
perhaps i'm discouraged by this momentary failure
yet, i don't think i'm the kind of guy who is easily marred by such setbacks
in fact, i should be getting mad and tire myself out at the gym
so why is my ass still stuck on this chair?

this life is taking much of a beating
yet, if things don't go my way, what am i suppose to do??
stop and stare? or punch the wall?
leave your suggestions at the tagboard while i find a way to overcome this problem,
and study for my religious class exams
haiz...

"i won't give you no money, i always pay
na-na, why don't you get a job?
say no way, say no way ya, no way
na-na, why don't you get a job?"

Ropes won't turn to threads when we have internet and handphones

2009-11-22T00:46:00.005+08:00

hmmm... i actually wanted to post something about the prom yesterday (it's already sunday)
there is a lot to talk about really
the food, the atmosphere, the joy of meeting your friends again before we go our separate ways
kuang shao's supreme manoeuvre which caught everyone by surprise
the finest finale in which almost everyone flocked to the dance floor, dancing their hearts out
the countless photos taken
the walk to the singapore river (was it the singapore river?? i never went there before)
actually there was a plan to go somewhere, but due to unforeseen circumstances, we ended up just sitting by the river
well, at least i for once was able to be there
i'm actually at a loss for words
i can't really express myself much regarding that special event
all i can say is i that i appreciate the times we had, and i hope we'll stay in touch for as long as possible, before the inevitable
so till then, keep answering your calls and reply to your messages cuz we'll keep in touch for sure peeps!

"look to the past
and remember and smile
and maybe tonight
i can breathe for a while
i'm not in the scene
i think i'm falling asleep
but then all that it means is
i'll always be dreaming of you."

Just like any other graduate would... or perhaps should...

2009-11-14T21:11:00.006+08:00

hmm... i don't really know how to put this...
anyways, yesterday was the end of a gruelling three-week stint in sitting for our big 'O's
it didn't really end the way i expected
whereby everyone would be ecstatic and going wild in celebration, some maybe even crying tears of joy
none of it happened.
the only special thing that i noticed was the two cakes sitting on the table in front of the library
thank you anyone who tried to make it special
everyone seemed stolid and weren't really making much ruckus
except when they were in front of the staff room, approaching mdm asmida for their prom tickets
perhaps everyone had their systems jammed at 'zombie mode'
or they were fearful that they wouldn't do well for the seemingly tough chemistry paper 1
or no one had the intention to celebrate
and as a member of 4/7 '09, i had the feeling that someone would give the call for a celebration
and once again, no one did.
then again, it would be highly demanding, and stupidly selfish, of me to ask for anyone of us to do it, and not attempting to do it myself
anyways, i'm hoping that the prom night would be something spectacular
we're gonna make it happen
because we're gonna make sure that our $70 doesn't go to waste

despite the seemingly dreary morning, my afternoon turned out to be, well, interesting
had a little conversation with this, erm, australian girl, who is, erm, yeah, definitely beautiful
actually, she was the one who approached me after noticing my freaking long name
after much spamming on each other's wall, i noticed that there was actually a chatroom
so, we started chatting
being the shy and conservative me, i just said a little 'hi' and from there, we started
actually, she was the one who started asking me questions
(yes, i'm a total loser when it comes to girls)
however, she wasn't really the usual blonde and pretty girl one would expect
she was, well, something unique
and she made me feel special too
a very interesting sort
ok, i think i should stop here
i suppose no one is really interested anyway
well, till then i guess

"when we're together, it's elation i've never known
when we're together i've got so much to give"

Ties; I'll have this accessory for life

2009-10-09T21:53:00.007+08:00

so, i guess i've broken a promise to myself
why?? because i'm blogging, when i should be shifting my ass on the chair on my left and start studying (i'm now on my bro's laptop and in his seat)
perhaps i should just take some time to express myself as i, as well as many others, reach the final chapters of secondary life
also, this is a good time to brush up on my english that is fast deteriorating after weeks of abandoning my blog
in addition, this is something to be remembered, so i'd certainly have to blog about it, for i am unable to remember all these as time passes
and i'll try to keep it short.

it does sound seemingly stupid to graduate before taking your final exam
yet again, probably it's ok, because it's called GCE 'O' Level Examinations, and not Secondary School LEAVING EXAMINATIONS
anyway, in the last day of school, we see the predicted
we laughed, we smiled, we cried, and we said our goodbyes (but it ain't the final one!!!)
we said our farewell speeches, and once again, i failed to fully express myself
i doubt i seemed sincere in the eyes of many, but i did say all those things with a heavy heart, though i did not cry, for i have forgotten how
it is certain that on days like these, we wouldn't see any emotional deviations, but everyone would definitely have different ways of expressing them
the years i've shared with the class is truly an experience of a lifetime
hundreds of days being spent together were full of meaning, and the joy of it can never be erased
though there were times where we fell apart, with the help and support of each other, we all managed to pull ourselves together
and like i said, though this class is not perfect, i would be lying if i didn't say that this is what i perfectly wanted

this isn't goodbye. there is no goodbye when you believe.

"if i turn into another
dig me up from under what is covering
the better part of me
sing this song
remind me that we'll always have each other
when everything else is gone"

No rest

2009-09-06T02:12:00.003+08:00

thursday's booster session was, well, a real booster for me
helped me get back on my feet
or perhaps for once, i got on my feet
with the ever-joyous andrea shooting out hundreds or thousands of words per minute
i was left with only vague memories of the session, but lots to do and think about
went back home smiling throughout the journey, yet gritting my teeth, fearing that i won't succeed
also got really inspired to do mindmaps
even went to purchase some fanciful-coloured pens just now
just hoping that time remains on my side
actually, i'm the one who should make a move and stay on time's side
besides waking me up from my slumber, the talk also helped me in detailing my targets
i know it might be insane to many, but i'm aiming a 6
God knows where i'm headed to, but i'm certain i desire to achieve that

unfortunately for me, friday broke my heart
my head was at its closest to willingly bang on the wall
my L1R5 was 18.
damn.
i was just starting to climb the ladder when it toppled over, again, leaving me lying face down on the floor
school is a head-maker, yet a heartbreaker
or maybe it's the teachers, most of them who pretty much defines motivation as fear to boosts the spirits their students, but are actually draining the motivation instead
"and the plane goes down, again..."

maybe it's time i let operation Faust takes its place
i might be on hiatus, well, from posting on this blog of course
but being utterly weak in resisting the urge of the worthless short-term desires that merely bring joy, i doubt that the blog will be free from new posts within the next two months
but i'm determined not to end up on the wrong side of this operation and be an upset
the pimples, the mucus and the puke won't make me falter
kiss and conquer.

"we don't know, where we're going
but we know, that we're getting there!"

What the hell am i thinking??

2009-08-28T22:13:00.000+08:00

i have a goal
in order to reach that goal, i need to swim
in order for me to swim, i need knowledge and skills
as i learn, i feel myself more prepared to face the ocean
with my confidence, i dipped my foot into the water
that was the start of my journey

with my strokes, i propel forward, opposing the motion of the waves
the waves vary by the day, so does the man
success and glory, a milestone ahead
failure and misery, no reason to regret
the trident in my face, another point to prove
claps of thunder shakes the sea, the outlook seems bleak
but Conscious says the mist is made-believe

in due time, i rest as i should, like every person would
yet complacency delays my time to move
as i tread the waters, i find myself drifting towards the vast unknown
where the quitters lay dead, where the stench keeps me awake
plagued by laziness, reeked of complacency
paralyzed i became, only the eyes surfacing the water
fears flocked towards me during my final breath
undesirable as it is, but is this the end??

when all hope seems lost, a short spasm stabs my back
it is the calling, time to get back on track

to prevent repetitions of such events, maybe it's time to just swim
only aim should accompany, and nothing else should matter
i think it's best that i replicate Faust now,
but keeping in mind that everything's temporary
my desire must be precise, the rest should be steered away
this risk should release much burden, but it won't assure things
in the crossroads, in the water i stay afloat
the clock is ticking, the heart is racing
in this final sprint, the routes i shall question
for what it's worth, is it worth it?

"every skyline beats in my chest
somewhere between love and sadness
this is our fate, this is our test
we ride in the mouth of madness"

A smile, a grin, and another cloud comes in...

2009-08-12T21:48:00.000+08:00

"people don't like you, is it??"
never thought that a question so poorly constructed would sound so harsh
my vision blurried, a probable jet black stare on the pages of the magazine
i could almost imagine my heart being swallowed by darkness
as i masked my inner feelings with a wry smile
i could only helplessly think about the true opinions of my...
well...companions...
damn...

"well don't talk about it;
write it down but don't ask for help.
i can't be honest with even myself.
did you ever wish you were...
did you ever wish you were...
did you ever wish you were somebody else?"

Back from the dead??

2009-08-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

apologies to whoever who has been patiently waiting for another post to appear
actually, nothing much really happened throughout the weeks
except for consecutive days of meeting insects on weird occasions
and a tuesday midnight in the toilet with a bloody big mosquito-like creature, about the size of my palm, which i squashed between a folded newspaper
that creature was like some kind of mutated creature from the sink or something
(think ninja turtles)
its legs could not even support the weight of the body. how weird...
i wanted to pee, and that creature probably wanted to suck
well, maybe opposites do attract

besides than, been kinda busy during the exam period
exam, sleep, eat, bro's laptop, study, sleep, repeat
and that is life, people
that is definitely life...

well, at least today marks the end of prelims
which is a huge sigh of relief for us sec4 express unitians
throughout the week, i kinda kept to myself most of the time
early morning rituals of listening to some nasyid
errm, i don't really know how to explain this type of music
but it basically keeps me calm, so my mind would be free from unnecessary thoughts during the exam
usually went straight home after the papers
and probably the only girl i talked to was xinying
and that was merely a few sentences on some of the days
call me sexist, call me anti-social
but yeah, that was what happened
kinda creepy though, yet nothing to worry about

today was pretty much a good day
played floorball to get rid of all the stress 'residues'
then, went out for a moment, tried to find something for ibu for her birthday
but to no avail
well, at least d cake was bought, by sis
dinner at around 8+, as usual
had a whopping feast
spaghetti, roasted chicken, keropok lekor which my eldest sis bought from terengganu
the strawberry ice-cream cake
tummy filled to the brim, without a doubt

well, that was pretty much my day
happy birthday ibu!
thanks for all that you've ever done for the family
love you!
and also, happy birthday mally's mom!
(mally's mom, has got it goin on...)

and this is finished right on midnight.

Damn... another gun is pointed at my face...

2009-07-11T13:57:00.003+08:00

school life's getting a little more miserable these days
the pressure that is exerted on me is getting a little out of hand
teacher's are getting much more unreasonable these days
well, they've always been this way
work's piling up and my ass won't stay on my chair for long
the chair isn't that comfortable anyway
worksheets being propelled into the face of our tables
marker ink jets out of its cartidge and onto the whiteboard on the side,
exposing a series of numbers and alphabets which instantly weakens our defence
meanwhile, we half-heartedly fight back with our pens, foolscap papers and a whole lotta brain juice

well, we can say "this is life"
or we can say "fuck life"
or we can lambaste the teachers and singapore's education system
but it's not gonna change anything
what matters is whether we can last till they cease fire at the end of the 'o' levels
and then we're gonna face another breed of soldiers the next year, and so on
everyone's got a war to fight
and for us singaporean students, it's a road war
whoever gets shot gets left behind!

It's wrong. It's what i wanted. Well, no regrets then.

2009-06-28T00:00:00.002+08:00

well, talk about wrong timing...
went shopping just now, when most of my work is still left undone
also spent pretty much all the money i had
well, it was probably the only time possible, so i had to risk everything else for this opportunity

anyway, went to novena with bro
bought an adidas jacket for $61
finally got what i wanted, and needed
then headed to orchard, to far east plaza
bro bought two tees, one for $24, another for $25
i bought one Threadless(brand name) tee at $25, which was necessary to fill my closet as i'm experiencing a wardrobe malfunction
bro persuaded me to buy because he said that even if i finished my money, i'd be satisfied with what i'm doing with the money
which was pretty much true
no regrets buying it:D

well, now i'm losing time
got a hell lotta work to do, not enough time
oh well, it's my choice after all, so i'm gonna face my own consequences
no more going out for you, boy
focus, focus...

"time we don't have, but has been given"

Slightly better...

2009-06-18T21:33:00.002+08:00

was at my uncle's house in johor from sunday to tuesday
well, this time, i had a bit more fun than usual
at least there was something to do this time

sunday
reached there at around 11am
breakfast, ate 3 and a half pieces of prata which was way bigger (and cheaper) than what you can usually find
took a nap, then headed to the nearest 7-11 store
actually, i did nothing much on this day

monday
had bbq at night
couldn't stuff in much, i wonder why

tuesday
this day was much more fun
went to the river at gunung berlumut
a long 2+ hour ride
the place was actually closed, yet people are still allowed to go in
it's because the contractors fled and abandoned their renovation project
and it's been 1 and a half years
sheesh, hopeless...
anyway, we went to the river
IT WAS FREEZING COLD!!!
yet it was pretty fun
threw some pebbles, and mine skipped 4 times!
hehe, kampung boy
baby ammar was also enjoying himself
(he's my cousin's son, which makes him...
i dunno wad's it called...)
no pics of d cute lil' him, haiz...
so, left the river shivvverrring, change clothes, went off

we were heading to restoran my friend
everytime i heard my father say that name, i kept thinking
"my father has a friend who owns a restaurant here??"
"who's this friend??"
when we arrived, i laughed hysterically
standing proudly on a pole, the board bears the name in neon pink and blue,
'RESTORAN MY FRIEND'
WTF??!!
had a hefty dinner
tom yam, sambal stingray, tofu in oyster sauce, sambal squid, kangkong (though i hate veggies, i find this quite irresistable, and delicious as well)
at night, headed to kip mart, adults did a last minute shopping
when we left, i realized everyone hadn't stocked up on bubble/chewing gum supply
oh well...
headed back home at around 11, reached home around 12.30
slept, slacked the rest of yesterday

missed gym session today
excuses:
-woke up late
-no one to tag along with
-was feeling a bit sick in the morning
haiz...

Voices by Saosin

2009-06-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

I miss the part, when we were moving forward now
(On our way down)
But maybe someday, I'll be something more than love
Just know I'll never tell
And when you're on your way down
(Through the clouds)
And you're waiting for your body's re-entry again

We speak in different voices
When fighting with the ones we've loved
We speak in different voices
Why can't we say what we're thinking of

I'm missing parts, now that you've told me everything
(On our way down)
And I was blessed and I've forgotten how to love
You said you'd never tell
And when you're on your way down
(Through the clouds)
And you're waiting for your body's re-entry again

We speak in different voices
When fighting with the ones we've loved
We speak in different voices
Why can't we say what we're thinking of

Not even I will tell...

We speak in different voices
When fighting with the ones we've loved
We speak in different voices
We say these things to know they're real.

We speak in different voices
When fighting with the ones we've loved
We speak in different voices
Why can't we say what we're thinking of

We speak in different voices
When fighting with the one's we've loved
We speak in different voices
We speak in different voices

To know they're real. Real.
I'll never...

Then, a hyena. Now, a lone wolf.

2009-06-11T13:58:00.003+08:00

went to the gym with thahir this morning
as usual, i reached late
did my normal routine, except for running on d treadmill
replaced it with cycling instead
cuitian came soon after
her presence and cheeky smile kinda made it harder for me to push myself
thahir on the other hand, kept doing bicep curls
and then there was that gym girl again:D
this time, she wasn't sitting down at the counter
instead, she turned up in a black adidas tee n the standard fbt shorts for girls, along with a friend
and i juz realised that she wore specs
hahax, so cute! ^ ^
woah woah woah, i seem like a stalker
ah, i remember the day she smiled at me:)

nowadays, heading to the gym is a lot less fun
i've lost much of my will to look as good as ______(fill in any names of guys with hot bods)
my willingness to wake up early in the morning have gone to rest
things no longer look as good as they used to be in the gym
gone were the days that the three musketeers/bujang lapok/do re mi set off to the gym weekly without fail
once in a while, there would be more company, such as cuitian or some of my other classmates
the days where i was always the weakest one, yet it never deterred me to get stronger
the days whereby equalling faiz's biceps and irwan's chest was a goal in life
the times where we would smack each other with our towels in the toilet
the times where i would say "eh, cute ah" upon seeing the girl on the wall after every gym session
these days, irwan does his thing with his dumbbells at home, while faiz is pretty much occupied with his obligations to his silat team, his injuries and all
as for me, i'm pretty much a one-man army running his own mission by his own means
well, no one's to blame for this
i've got no control over anyone's lives except mine
yet again, this is a sad truth for me
oh well, just have to get stronger for myself, by myself...

...hmm...now what about my studies??

"chances thrown
nothing's free
longing for what used to be
still it's hard
hard to see
fragile lives, shattered dreams"

Four hours

2009-06-09T01:28:00.002+08:00

a group of 8, a perfect mix of boys and girls
awkwardly surrounded by the sight of people dining, cleaners and fishes floating above our heads
a simple request by a friend turned to a life lesson learned for all
a mere conversation in such an environment that can never be deemed as a conducive place to open up about life matters, managed to cause tears to well up in the eyes of the ever soft-hearted girls
(one and half packet of tissue gone due to the wasteful manner of using each sheet)
as for the hard-faced boys
it was a matter of whether their strong will prevented them from crying
or it was simply because the tears had been dried up by history
as the dearest, innocent little one rests her head on the table,
she allowed her ears to seep in every word said
perfectly hiding behind everyone's oblivion
(sorry for banging the table countless of times that u had to move away from me)

the short meeting among nature's inhabitants produced some distinguishable moments
the ever happy and outgoing bee couldn't bear the pain of it's own sting
but time allowed it to recover, slowly, but surely
the giant sequoia tree withered its leaves, yet it manages to grow its leaves once more in a matter of seconds
the smiling sun was overshadowed by purple clouds which rained as soon as they were formed
in spite of that, the sun manages to shine again, much like the way everyone preferred
finally, the elegant flower opens its petals
to everyone's horror, it reveals a sight of disgust, one that is kept hidden so long that it was beyond anything anyone would expect
yet, it never lost its respect
in fact, the flower became one to look up to

presumptions, perceptions, all mentioned after a day's work
in an attempt to mend each others' flaw
a new hope, a new appreciation, a new resolution to strive for
all in a matter of four hours...

"all right!
this is from our hearts!
sincerity over simple chords
we've made some mistakes,
we've made some mistakes
but it's a long time coming when you've given it everything"

The star fell from the sky, towards... me.

2009-06-07T14:27:00.003+08:00

Unity Sec 10th Year Anniversary Fun Fair
went horribly wrong for me.

first off, let me just talk about the haunted hospital thing
i feel very bad for leaving the class throughout most of the fun fair
i was more caught up with my street soccer game and that horrendous performance
and i am truly sorry for that
well, i have to say i am glad that the hospital thingy turned out quite well
though there's always some faggots who just can't stop ruining the game for others
the class got truly fucked up about this problem, without a doubt
and to our dearest Mrs Chan
you told me that you did not want it to be too scary for you
when you entered, you yapped your way out of fear
and when it didn't turn out scary for you
you dare ask for a refund!!! even your daughter agreed with you!!!
what a great role model to us students, and to your child as well

next, the street soccer competition
though we won the first two games, my performance in every game sucked
stumbling became all too common, couldn't even dribble the ball well
moreover, we should have made it in the semi finals already
if not for the poor management of the competition
teams entered last minute, some teams re-entered even after they lost
everything went haywire there
despite our 1-0 loss in the third game, it was good to see that we were all smiles
that loss meant that the team (me, hafiz, nicholas and faris) will no longer have to think about the competition anymore, and be more focused on the hospital

lastly, the stage performance
*pukes*
sorry.
the long-awaited moment turned out to be a bloody disaster
haziq's guitar somehow died, had to borrow clare's guitar
haziq's strumming could hardly be heard, while mubin's guitar overpowered everything else
irwan's attempt to keep the crowd alive was utterly useless
his singing was not in sync with the music
the songs were played so slowly
we've got the hopeless crew and the bullshit sound system to blame
during rehearsals, one guy showed up, knew about our problem, promised to settle it the next day
yesterday, a new line up appeared, that previous guy was nowhere to be found
nothing could be fixed
despite that, the band itself was also to be blamed
what's with the sour faces on stage??!!
we are performers, we can't just sulk because something did not go as planned
save it till we leave the stage, what's so hard about that?!
even jesslyn agreed with this
the perpetual lack of confidence was still present
and irwan, please, please understand
if we already suck, get off the damn stage!!!
your lame jokes are just another hopeless redemption
because of all this, we're now everybody's fool
half the crowd was gone after our performance
great job gang!!!
what a waste of time
what a waste of effort
a waste of my saliva trying to lift your spirits
a waste of money spent on jamming,
a worthless attempt trying to put our songs into perfection
eyes on corona?
more like staring dead at the eclipse

so, that was pretty much how the event went for me
fortunately, this day came only on the 10th anniversary
who knows, maybe in another 10 years, someone's gonna repeat history
let's just wait and see...

I'm moving forward, but where's 'up'?

2009-05-23T22:28:00.005+08:00

hmm, quite some time since my last post...

first off, i'm running out of fuel
i'm losing the drive to excel in my Malay Language
uncertainty is gaining up on me
i am no longer confident in answering questions
i mean, when doing papers
my vocab is getting worse
it's getting harder to translate from English to Malay
i am getting lazier in doing my Malay homework
i got poor results for my mock test (45/70)
and the best part
'O' LEVELS IS JUST A FEW DAYS AWAY!!!
c'mon kiddo
u can't afford to lose yourself at a time like this
just one last push dude
when it's done, u can enjoy
though it's only for a while

next, i may be feeling a little friendlier than usual
i don't really know why, but i'm loosening my fist
i have some mixed feelings about this
it is a good sign, but i can't let my guard down
need too stay cautious
i can't afford to befriend an enemy...
...or am i just another victim of paranoia?

third, i got abandoned by mubin!!!
BEAN!!! u left ur good ol' pal for a girl who isn't attractive to you???!!!
i was really convinced that you've forgotten about your flirting habits
but i was dumbfounded
fortunately for you, i can forgive my friends
it's understood that we can't run away from our mistakes
no man is regarded as perfect
but one can always make up for it by changing and not repeating their mistakes
you've once asked me why girls tend to avoid talking to you these days
my question to you: have you not changed yourself?
answer this, and you'd have answered your own
oh, and thanks abi, azri and kaixin for your concern, for standing up for me
but please don't overreact again, ok?

well, i think that's it
there might be some things that i'm just keeping for myself
or maybe just share with a few people
because i don't think it's necessary
moreover, my sister reads my blog, so that means i'm losing a little privacy here
(hi sis!)
maybe next time...

Revival of one, death of another

2009-05-09T15:05:00.003+08:00

YAY!!! MY MP3 HAS REVIVED!!!
actually, after the fall, it was only the battery that died
no idea how, but that's how it was
yeah, silly me. i know.
wasted a whole week dissecting half of my mp3, inspecting it
when the real problem had always been staring in my face
well, life lesson learnt: always look at the big picture before it's details
i guess
anyway, i finally got my music back
no more listening to the lifeless sounds of seven in the morning
welcome back 1/4 of my life
so now, i'll be questioning myself once more
will i be able to get a phone?

The cloud didn't hover over me, yet it rained...

2009-05-02T15:44:00.002+08:00

yesterday, my day started off badly
i wasn't sure whether i wanted to go for the 1/4-of-the-class picnic at botanic gardens
again
yet, i decided to go
so, packed my barang2, headed to the mosque

at the mosque...
since i reached quite late, i was sitting under the scorching sun
while the man beside me was sheltered
so my whole body(yes, whole body) was left sweating
my arms were wet, i felt sweat flowing down my face, my back
so after prayers, had to went back home
changed into another top
(i realised that the inner shirt i was wearing was soaked in sweat)
just as soon as i left home, something very, very terrible happened
I DROPPED MY MP3!!!
my two-year-old mp3 was busted
now, 1/4 of my life is gone
so, i headed to the gardens all alone, dejected

met up with gabriel and azri at the place, went to search for the others
due to our poor sense of direction, we walked around half of the area in search of them
soon, we met up with them, thanks to the use of azri's hp
(remember guys, u got hp, use it well)
and also the fact that andy was dressed up like a boss
so, the peeps present were me, azri, gab, yel, kian hwee, andy, clare, xinying, kaixin, eugene
yes, eugene kua. i myself did not expect it but yeah, he came

anyway, played twister
the game was certainly not for those who intend to be a virgin for life
we did all sorts of move just to stay in the game
and everyone wants each other to pose unnecessarily
even the girls were horny!!! and andy too!!!
the first game already got me sweating, and my legs were all wobbly
rested for a while, then played monkey with a volleyball after kian hwee left
soon after, the girls played another game of twister
since we guys kinda got them tangled and in all the wrong postures
so, they did the same to the boys in our game
started with me, azri, eugene and gabriel
then, somewhere in the middle of the game, gab quit
oi!!! got no balls ah?!
soon enough, it was sudden death
the 'outside' people juz positioned our body in all sorts of ways
by the end of the game, eugene was flattened, half-dead
azri was behind him, in an undesireable position
i was across them, kind of hugging eugene
you horny people!!!
rested, then left the place
and eugene realised he had shed off a few pounds as his pants were then loose
kudos!

then, we split up
yel, kaixin, andy, eugene and myself headed to holland v
it was probably my first time i think
talked alot about being rich, house, future
pretty much our perceptions of each other
a few moments later, xinying, azri, clare and gab met up with us
their plans to watch x-men was cancelled
so, we ate, talked, blah blah blah
then made our way home
met two drunkards (i believe it stands for "drunk bastards") who puked at a bus stop
they were lying on the bench, asleep probably, thankfully as well
what the hell is wrong with these kind of people??!!
for what sake do you drink?!
to enjoy?! what do you enjoy when you live your life subconsciously?!
you puke all over the place, with your rotten, putrid flesh lying around
driving all the other people mad
GET A LIFE!!! or might as well die!!!

so, overall, my day wasn't that bad
at least 1/4 of the class helped to brighten up my day
well, now, i shall lead my life in misery
goodbye my daily dose of music
goodbye my darling mp3 player
goodbye my piece of life...

It is not about what makes a 'you', all that matters is what will become of you

2009-04-19T21:41:00.003+08:00

another recap on life...

friday, stayed in class after aep
in an attempt to finish doing my corrections for my e.maths papers
copying is such a bothersome work
blasted music in class throughout my work
soon enough, the only peeps left were me, irwan, faiz, abi, kaixin and xinying
crapped about a whole lotta stuff
but what xinying said to me kinda got me wondering
she said that my missing tooth is what makes me an 'Amirul'
she doesn't seem to like the thought of me having braces or perfect-looking teeth
well, i explained to her that i if i did not do anything about it, it will affect my speech
and i won't look very presentable, especially if i were to find a job in the future
then, i recalled what the missing tooth meant to me...

it was a scar
a retribution for my sins, for the past mistakes that i have done
a mark that proves i wasn't worthy of being given life
with that mouth, i lied, i shouted, spat vulgarities, even to my mum when i was 10
i was a sinner, a devil's puppet

when i took the tumble, falling face first, i did not feel any pain
because my heart was too cold to realise pain
i raced to the toilet, looked at the mirror
bared my teeth, and i could see a deep, dark hole
i don't see myself anymore.
the first pain i felt then was when gargling my mouth
soon after, i took the bus home
met my brother in the bus
he too was freaked out by the sight of me
blood and water smeared my uniform, i looked hideous
he consoled me, regret started to cloud my mind...

as i reached home, i kissed my mum's hand
i broke her heart once more
she'd never thought i'd return home different
right on the eve of hari raya, the day of forgiveness
her worries spiked through my heart, i was a failure...

went to take a bath
turned on the shower, water landed on my head forcefully
knocking some sense into my mentally-abused head
then, i took a nap on my bed
as i laid my head to rest, i recalled all my past mistakes
how could i be so stupid? what have i done throughout my life?
i cried, i cried hard
i spent the afternoon in bed, weeping, drowning in my own tears
that was the last time i cried in sentiment

it is certain that if i remain like this, with this hole
i would be telling myself that i still haven't made a change for the better
that i still haven't learn my lesson
i would still be a convict of my own crimes
therefore, i would like to correct my teeth
as a sign of forgiveness, to myself, to others
i want to start anew, and leave behind the old, worthless me...

Brothers are like water. Friendship is a river. Life is a water cycle.

2009-04-11T21:23:00.004+08:00

back here once more to update on life
because of demands, of course
16 march doesn't seem that long ago, you know
because time moves so fast these days
anyway, this is what happened yesterday...

first off, woke up at 10+
feels like saturday
but it's only a friday!
went to prayers, was sweating heavily
soon after, rushed to mrt station to meet bro
coincidentally, met the class first
unfortunately, only a handful turned up
left off first with bro to city hall

when we reached city hall, headed to long john silver's first
for once, he treated me to food! hehe
because i think most of the time, i'm the one who bought for him stuff
or bought the stuff that we share
anyway, makan makan
accidentally filled my tummy to the brim
headed to bras basah
fortunately i brought an umbrella, because the rain was kinda heavy
went shopping at art-friend, bro bought some acrylic paints and paintbrushes
i bought nothing.
went to swee lee next
toured around the shop as usual, target a few guitars
bro picked up a guitar cable cuz ours were condemned
then entered this room filled with music books, for the first time
explored around the room, whereby only the cashier was present and no one else
then, bro paid for the cable and some guitar picks
i bought for myself a lucky-thirteen pick! yay!

after that, i went off to orchard, bro to work at novena
went to meet the fellow peeps at botanic garden
hehe, picnic, in the rain
we were ill-fortunate, helpless, yet we didn't care!
met them, then played the "bom chi chi" game thingy
which i had no idea how to play, but it looks kinda unique, like a dance
then makan a bit, fooled around with truth or dare
but we kinda parted quite fast, or maybe i was just too late
ok, skip a few chapters...

hmm, at night, at orchard, the ones left behind were me, andy, kaixin and cuitian
a very unlikely quad
did a little planning somewhere by the side of house of condom
wasn't i right andy? everyone will certainly take a look at shops like that
and the littlest thing that they'll do is shift their eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of the shop
actually, that was what i learnt from ilham
and cuitian was caught doing so, hehe
travelled by foot all the way to dhoby ghaut mrt
i was banging into andy throughout the journey, who was happily singing about bras basah
which i had no idea why
well, that is mr.oh-so-random-andy to you
made a few stops along the way, adjusting my socks, checking on my bleeding finger, received 'magic bottles'
talked about possibly the most random stuff

in the mrt, me, andy and kaixin were chatting about our future basically
education paths, future life, travelling, friendship
learnt a few things about andy and kaixin
the conversation was, well, heartening, yet heartbreaking at the same time
especially when looking at the dark night outside, with some lights and a few stars
thinking back, i believe the stars might represent us
when they're together, they'll form constellations, like friends, which is such a beautiful sight
even so, for all we know, each of them stands alone
they will shine only for themselves
and when they die, they will be forgotten, as always
well, i guess kaixin's right
friendship is such a pathetic thing
all we do is make empty promises, hopeless wishes, and it will all go to waste
yet, we yearn for more
why?
because we humans are capable of believing
and we are free to make choices
thus, that is what keeps us going...

now, it's a matter of your choice
whether you would want to believe in the pitiful facts of life, much like a pessimist
or believe in hopes and dreams, and lead your life as an optimist...

No faces, only masks (and all that matters is believing)

2009-03-16T20:52:00.003+08:00

it has never been a surprise that someone describes the world as cold, cruel, bitter and so on
because the world has always been that way, and it will never change
for there is a spot of darkness present in every heart
causing every life to be marred and scarred with time
causing fear to take control of the body
in turn, causes people to drug themselves with lies, fake smiles and catching flies
making them unaware of their ever-masochistic behaviour
which i believe proves to be a futile effort at reviving hopes
because time never heals, it only kills, including itself
yet still, it is always amazing to see the drug in action
for the good, the bad, the unreal
convincing every man to think that their life is oh-so-beautiful
telling them to do the best they can in life
when they can't even define it
such a pity that these facts apply to everyone, including myself
no wonder life seems so short...

Which road did i travel?

2009-02-06T20:53:00.002+08:00

guys, i managed to overcome my dilemma
and i ended up buying a pair of earphones
but it's not skullcandy, it's CrossRoads
haven't heard of it? not to worry
i only heard of it when i started becoming some sort of budding audiophile
the model is MylarOne Bijou 2 (what a cute name...)
bought it for $70 at an audiophile hideout, hehe
and it came bundled with a pair of amplifiers
(earphone connect to --->amp--->hp/mp3)
it kinda pumps up the volume, and sound quality
anyway, this pair of earphones managed to burst my eardrums
the bass is, well, i dunno what to say
if i were at least 70, it might kill me in a matter of seconds
truly astounding, heart-pounding too
tried on killswitch engage's 'holy diver' (metal song, the usual 'my kinda stuff')
almost got the juices out of me, hehe

as for bob, he bought an audio-technica
aww, fuck the common sight!
sheesh...is audio-technica another fad waiting to be a disaster?
only time will tell
till then, do not bother me when i'm listening to my music
because music is as important as breakfast...

Crossroads...

2009-01-26T00:13:00.002+08:00

guys, i need all of your views on this
(if you bother to read this)
the first time i crossed path with the skullcandys,
i froze, yet, i melted, in awe of its beauty
i knelt down before it...
[hey kid, shut your melodramatic shit!]

ok, let me get to the point
i wanna get a pair of skullcandy headphones
ones that cost $80+
yes, i can afford it, but then would mean spending all my money on it
and my second option is, just get a pair of earphones,
probably those under $50
however, i've been waiting for more than half a year to get this baby (i guess)
once, i couldn't sleep 'cuz the thoughts of owning it kept lingering in my head
and now's my chance
but still, should i lose myself to my own selfishness?
(like what i did on many other occasions,
such as the concert, and class camp, whereby i disappointed my parents)
i know i should not walk the path that desire has led me to
but if i don't get them soon,
they might end up as another mainstream bullshit
and regret not buying them when they're still not known to many
(unfortunately, this time, i can't tell myself that "regret is not an option")
someone help me pull myself together
only your time and words will prove to be my salvation...

Misery for the miserable sons...

2009-01-16T21:02:00.005+08:00

as they walk, their rotten feet lands on the ground
a miasma hangs around their putrid flesh
they reek as they speak
everything is bland as they taste
and as they reach out,
they stain everything they touch
for they have been poisoned out of their own stupidity
they ended their dilemma with a suicidal plunge
one that they won't see as they die
for they think they're life's a bitch
sad to say, the bitch is their own

will you find a cure for your itch?
the help that you seek?
for my lips shall no longer speak
and my arms shall no longer reach
my tireless efforts have proven to be worthless
as you shoved me aside with your caustic words
you kept your eye on the devil
wanting, waiting to fulfill your desire
your addiction
your pain

someday, you'll tell me that you need me
tell me what you wanna be
but all you see, is my back facing towards you
all your cries will fall on deaf ears
so, if you still care,
don't ever let me know...

Flipping over to CHAPTER FOUR

2008-12-31T21:58:00.012+08:00

so, we're entering a new year
i'm glad i survived another year
(once in a while i get terrified of death)
well, life has been good this year
hell lotta thrills and spills
going through thick and thin with my class
building new relationships, goin out with new maytes
looking out for more people to hate, hehe
growing each day
physically, mentally, emotionally
unfortunately for me, i've forgotten a whole lot that had happened this year
maybe i might remember if someone talks about them
whatever happened, no regrets guys
life goes on

now, entering a new year, we're gonna have a fresh start
(in fact, each day is a new beginning)
even so, i'm satisfied with the friends i have now
damn... everytime the word 'friends' pop out,
i keep thinking about what's gonna happen when we part
fuck it...
so guys, let's make the time we have left for each other be worthwhile

anyway, since we're entering a new year, here are some of my resolutions:
-to work hard and achieve my targets in terms of education
-be a stronger kid (in whatever possible ways)
-enjoy another good year ahead of me with my fellow friends and family members
-to save enough money and get either one of these items:
[a new electric guitar]
[a handphone] (okay, laugh all you want)

"don't know who made this all come true
but now while you're here
you just gotta do what you gotta do"

"this is life
what a fucked up thing we do
what a nightmare come true
or a playground if we choose
and i choose..."

Two babies!!!

2008-12-21T22:42:00.002+08:00

weekends are always great, no matter what happens
well, for this weekend, my family had to babysit Ammar
fat and cute little, or big, baby
it's hard to explain, but i'm somehow his uncle
so, yesterday, i didn't really give him as much attention
sorry dude, i just don't know how to approach babies!
but he will always look at me everytime i pass by him
especially when i'm with my headphones
and, errm, he farted at my leg!!!
aaarrrgghhh!!! my leg is intoxicated!!!
during lunch, he crawled under the dining table, but couldn't get out, hahax!
silly little guy

today, he came again!
but today, he came with another baby, a YAMAHA GUITAR!!!
woohoo! thanks Abang Fahmi for lending the guitar for the day
dark green, 2nd hand, but still in perfect condition
he bought it for $400, but it initially cost $600+
anyway, this time, Ammar got more attention
carried him around, fooled around
the baby very manja, always want me to carry, hahax
managed to make him sleep once when carrying him, hehe
so, had some fun with both babies, hahax
errm, so yeah, that kinda concludes my weekend
well, due to the fact that i don't have a phone
(hahax, i'm not as pampered as you guys! i know![optimistic opinion])
pics are not uploaded
actually, took pics with bro's phone, but he got no data cable nor an adaptor
(kau ni, mangkuk lah...)
so, let's start on homework!
(i'm a hopeless douchebag, i know...)

"shoe colour: black, with some white to make a 'snowy' effect. plus, purple laces. how's that for a spray painting experiment?"

The class camp...

2008-12-19T00:30:00.003+08:00

ok, just a lil post on the class camp
even though it's kinda late, but who'd give a damn?
sorry i came only on the 2nd and 3rd day
had to sacrifice the 1st day for something important
not only to me, but to my family
well, that's life
sacrifices must always be made
the camp was, well, kinda fun
although it wasn't really what i expected
but it was fun, while it lasted
damn, i missed d bbq n games

and, i realised a few things during the 2 days at camp
one, my teacher ain't really a total b***h after all
she's actually kind lah
but maybe bcuz of maths,
or the environment of the classroom,
she turns out differently during lessons

two, a yellow topman shirt really brightens up your day
whether rain or shine, you can still feel great!
(and you think i look comical in a yellow tee?)

three, my class can handle things really fast
only that, it's a matter of choice
thus, this proves our great teamwork and cooperation!
kudos!

four, midnight is the best time to exercise, topless
you'll sweat, but you won't feel any heat
you'll be able to last longer than in the day
it's true!

ok, maybe this is silly...

anyway, gotta thank the class for organising such a great camp
even though i only saw half the class
and ms chua for being bearable, for once
and faiz for the little bit of training (and soreness in my quadriceps)
and maybe also the school, for allowing us to have this camp

now, let's get back to reality
and do your homework, young man!

Hari Raya Haji

2008-12-09T22:20:00.002+08:00

ok, so, a lil update on yesterday
started off the day by going to the mosque, early in the day, prayed
pity those who had to pray in the rain
the rain stopped for a moment after my arrival
but it rained again during the prayer
haiz...

returned home,half wet (even though i had an umbrella)
do final house cleaning
then, at 12 noon, an accident happened at the road facing my house
it wasn't really serious, just a lil bump on each car
the cars were (from front to back) silver, silver, red
the formation was a --/-- kinda formation (each line represents a car)
and the best thing was, it was a MULTI-RACIAL CRASH!!!
yeah, the front car was driven by a Malay woman with his husband and child,
followed by a young Chinese guy, and then, a botak Indian guy, arnd his 30s i think
what a great way to bring all of us together! hahax
fortunately there was no huge quarrel
hahax, never thought i'd see a crash like that, and at a great time too!

so, arnd 3+ i guess, first family came
but i took a nap sometime between 4pm-5pm
hehe, too tired
then woke up, watched a Bon Jovi concert on tv, hehe
yapyapyap
day ends at 11+, all guests had left
still quite a lot of food left, but nevermind
i attended to that, hehe
so, yeah, i guess that's about it for the day

oh, and it's such a pity that today, which is suppose to be my parent's anniversary
well, my dad had to leave to taiwan
haiz... hopefully the year won't get any worse...

read "the sandman" comics!!! they're awesome!!! (very mysterious, and confusing too, hehe)

Finally...

2008-12-06T22:23:00.007+08:00

just taking some time to post some of d A7X concert pics i found, hehe
i know it's quite long ago
but hey, their precious, priceless memories
after all, the best thing to spend on is on special occasions
those that bring you special memories
like this one! my first concert!

the crowd... huge, and some, brutal...

somewhere in the beginning, cuz M.Shadows is still wearing his jacket

M.Shadows(vocals)

Synyster Gates(lead guitar)

Zacky Vengeance(Guitar)

Johnny Christ(bass)

The Rev(drums)[he's wearing awesome headphones!]

aaahhh... just like brothers

and another one! simply fabulous!

well, you can ask me, "what's with those fancy-pansy names?"
beats me! i've got no darn idea...

i've truly forgotten that monday is Hari Raya Haji...

The line of misery...

2008-12-03T17:21:00.002+08:00

first up, my right eye
initially, it was only red on the inner part
today, it's totally red
and there's this red bloodspot somewhere at the top
and when i look from side to side, i realise that the white part of my eye (dunno what it's called) kinda like flaps open
it's like there is an outer skin and it's loose
it's irritating
and now, i'm in total fear
I DON'T WANNA GO BLIND!!!

secondly, there is a huge possibility i'm gonna miss my class camp
first, i had 2 persuade my dad 2 change the dates of his 2-day leave so that we will go to malaysia(uncle's house) on those days
so, with that, i'll have a chance to go to camp, but arrive a little late
but now, my dad suddenly needs to go to taiwan, and he can only make it on the weekends
the camp days
and he doesn't want me to go to the camp cuz he claims it won't be fun if i don't follow
(without me=no fun?)
and now i'm out of ideas
I WANNA GO FOR THE CAMP!!!
THIS IS GODDAMN FRUSTRATING!!!

so, if anyone can suggest something, i'd greatly appreciate it (if it works)
what's the use of holidays if we don't enjoy it?

AAAAAHHHH!!!!

2008-11-29T21:47:00.002+08:00

i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it! i'm gonna buy it!

the candy!!! with skulls!!! headphones!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!
they're here~!!! but they're COSTLY!!!!
I WILL WORK HARD!!! I WILL!!! AND I WILL GET IT!!!

you're gonna go far, kid!!!

Just do lah... it won't hurt

2008-11-28T23:22:00.002+08:00

alright, since i'm bored, i'm gonna do this quiz
as told by luqmaaaaan :)

1) The person who tagged me:

Luqman Nur Hakim

2) Your relationship with him/her is:

Friends/suppose-to-be-bandmates-but-the-band-didnt-really-work-out-but-we're-still-together/farmer n goat?

3) Your five impressions of him/her:

He's one of the good guys.
He's got a nice hairdo.
He's surely as nerdy as me. look at the way he walks.
He's a what-the-hell-do-i-care-about-others-i-do-what-i-want kinda guy. in a good way.
He must be an emo...(sorry, just my first impressions of you)

4) The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you:

Errmm... talk to me?

5) The most memorable thing that he/she had said to you:

Errr... nothing i guess.

6) If he/she becomes your lover, you will:

IF it happens... well... RUN!!!

7) If he/she becomes your lover, he/she will:

(maybe) He will say "will you maaaarry me?"

8) If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:

Wait for him... attack only when necessary(like when you're about to get attacked). i'm sure this won't have to happen.

9) If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:

I stole his girl. period.

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:

Hmm... FOR him... this is hard... oh yeah. pass to him the Guitar Pro 5 software (if only i have a thumbdrive to fit it in...)

11) Your overall impression of him/her is:

Dude, you're downright silly. and i like that!

12) How you think people around you will feel about you?:

Well, they'll think i'm a fucked up idiot! so nerdy! that's what i think. if you wanna know, ask the peeps, not me.

13) The characteristics you love of yourself are:

I love to hate myself! (hate is my motivation to strive for success!)
I look down on myself. (i work for the better, not to maintain the same)
I'm not perfect! hence, i'm just like all of you!
I think a lot about what i doubt others will.

14) On the contrary, the characteristics you hate of yourself are:

I've got a poor memory...
I've got a broken tooth... (*BOOHOO!*)
Wait... in fact... according to what was written earlier, i hate myself! so it must be everything!

15) The most ideal person you want to be is:

A better me.

16) For people who care for and like you, say something to them:

Thanks a lot! i care for you and i like you too! even though i hate myself, but who gives a damn about that, am i right?

17) Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you. (actually, you can choose not to do if you want. i won't force you. anyway, some of these people might not have blogs, but i'll just fill in your name) (in no particular order)

Irwan
Hafiz (Bob)
Faris
Alfi
Marilyn
Hafeeza
Mubin
Azmee
XinYing
Hannah

18) Who is no.6 having relationship with?
[Hafeeza] wait...what's his name... fhazrin? something like that...

19) Is no. 9 a male or female?
[XinYing] Female. (man, what a great question...)

20) If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
[Mubin&Hannah] Yeah, i guess. I'm sure they bear no grudges.

21) What is no.2 studying about?
[HafizBob] Hacking into devices i guess. if not, then gothic literature. if not, he's not studying. he's just sleeping or slacking around.

22)When is the last time you had a chat with no.3?
[Faris] Just now! hahax

23) What kind of music band does no.8 like?
[Azmee] He listens to anything nice to him regardless of genre. i'm sure.

24) Will you woo no.3?
[Faris] No way man! MAN!

25) How about no.7?
[Mubin] HELL NO!!!

26) Is no.4 single?
[Alfi] Yes, and trying not to be, hehe.

27) What is the surname of no.5?
[Marilyn] Err...wait... is it Neo?

28) What’s the hobby for no.4?
[Alfi] Write stories with cheem words?

30) Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
[Marilyn&XinYing] Yeah. like big sis n' lil sis :)

31) Where is no.2 studying at?
[HafizBob] Unity Sec

32) Say something casual about no.1:
[Irwan] He's like a brother to me!

33) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
[Azmee] Hell no... he's a guy, i'm no gay. period.

34) Where does no.9 live at?
[XinYing] Hahax! no idea at all!

35) What colour does no.3 like?
[Faris] The latest is orange, right?

36) Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
[Marilyn&Irwan] Maybe not really the best of friends, but i guess they're still friends. and classmates.

37) Does no. 1 have any pets?
[Irwan] I doubt so.

38) Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
[Mubin] Nope. not at all. the sexiest person should be...

39) What is no. 10 doing now?
[Hannah] Praying goodnight? i heard she's a faithful christian

well, i guess that's the end of this quiz
let's just wait for a better tomorrow...
wait, it's already past 12...

Road to becoming an IRONMAN!!!

2008-11-27T17:29:00.004+08:00

ok, i'm kinda bored actually
juz wanna jot this down as a reminder of those (people/events/things) who/which influenced me to get stronger
me want muscle big big!
cuz i'm skinny and scrawny and i know you're gonna agree with me on this...
(oh, and that ironman thing, i'm referring to the muscle2 men kinda ironman
not the superhero)

-big bro (damn, his arms are getting bigger by the day... too bad his tummy remains, hehe)
-family (you people have criticised me for far too long!)
-mirror (stop showing me all that skin n' bones!!!)
-faiz (just look at him! he's a volcano!!! all the lava flowing through his arms!)
-irwan (founder of the wawasan, and one of those with the magic chest! no, boobs sounds better...)
-mubin (another one with the magic boobs!)
-Avenged Sevenfold (hell! look at their arms! no wonder the keep wearing sleeveless shirts!)
-humaira: "eh, amirul kurus eh..."(as told by hafiz during dance rehearsal)
-yelicia: "eh, i can feel the bone at your shoulder. disgusting eh!" (during dance rehearsal... hell, this is by far the worst...)

well, maybe there are many others i left out
cuz you know, me and my STM
well, maybe this might help some of u guys out there who needs motivation
for now, i'll be working out to be a better me...

"i thought about a burning fire..."

Just a few of them

2008-11-24T13:57:00.005+08:00

haiz... i'm bored
right now, currently sick
anw, here are some of d pics from d camp
you can get the rest at http://s456.photobucket.com/albums/qq281/interceptionseven/
...man, i can still feel the wristband...

My side of the story...

2008-11-20T21:53:00.006+08:00

alright, this will be my story on the Student's Leadership Camp (SLC)...
i assure you, this will be a long, detailed post...
pics might be updated next time, after i get them from azmee...

First day
had a slow start to d camp
realised that there was only 3 sec4s in my group (Mac-Hine)
me, hazirah and marilyn
but nevermind that
ice breakers
gave every1 their name tag and wristbands
it's blue and it glows! (a little)
attempted to bond with McMuffin
but only managed to play cling-cling with them

went to prepare for station games
helped out with setting up the lanes on the field
but it rained!
end up having our 1st game in the sports hub
took a long time to plan on the game with xiaofei and all
managed to organise a race
but before that...
AMIRAH!!! YOU ALMOST BLINDED ME!!!
my eyes got filled with flour!!!
then i panicked, asked some1 to blow away the flour (don't remember who)
then went to wash my eye
almost lost the right contact lens
anyway, during the race, kinda dirtied the whole basketball court with flour
hehe
(seniors present... DAMN!!!
heard that Alfi? DAAAAMMMNNN!!! hahax
don't worry, you're not the hated, hehe)

soon after, the lightning alarm thingy stopped
so, had 2 plan activity on the field
somehow, i became a messenger to xiaofei and hafizah
headed from field to court again and again
but it was FUN!!!
got dirtied all over
then, showered...

at night, the nightwalk
had a lot to talk about with hazirah
pre-skool (same class), family, personal thoughts (not much about that though)
only spotted by around 5 of our own group members
after that, went to bed in the 'bunk' with irwan, azmee, zaki and hafiz
hehe, far from the rest
freezing cold...

Second day
morning exercise
then amazing race
well, Mac-Hine sure bonded quite well this time round
i was well impressed
however, everytime they ran, they neglected those who were injured
after lunch, got this sort of reflection thing
and a so-called 'voting session'

had telematch
2 sec4 grps, 2 sec3 grps
played a few games
one of which we had to eat this mixed bullshit
noodles, fruits, veggies, watery... PUKE!!!
just when i thought we had 'finished' our plate
another one appeared!!!
my second dig got me nauseous
minwei!!! acip!!! you guys are outrageous!!!
then played that caterpillar-chair-thingy
we won! hahax
siti was amazing (hey bean, i stood beside siti, hehe
i took ur 'sister' away!)
she could outstretch her legs like crazy!
then, there was the drunken sailor game
ran, twirled, managed to avoid flour that was thrown by yelicia
too dizzy to notice how i dodged her

in the night, had the gala night performances
some of the groups performances was great
some i couldn't understand
but nevermind
(i realised that the Power Rangers Wild Force theme song was like metal dude!!!)
then, had to dance
right in the front
in the centre
a slow dance at first for the HSM3 song
not sure about the title, hahax
but the situation wasn't really what i hoped for
cuz' of the slightly noisy environment
and everyone had their eyes on you
next was the "all for one" from HSM2 i think
SCREWED UP THE START!!!
hahax, me and yel then just twirled around somehow
but managed to remember the other moves
all of us sec4s got covered with sweat and smiles after that
(i wonder how many kids got jealous when i danced with yel? hahahaha!!!)

in the night, faris joined us in our 'bunk'
joked around, laughed so hard i formed 8-packs!
(exaggerating)
but the jokes were so hilarious we couldn't shut our eye (except zaki)
faris was the main subject, hehe
(hahax, tetek busok!!!)

Third day
had a morning hike
and it rained after some time...
soon caught up with group 8, dunno their name, hahax
hafiz was happy he saw something blue
low plunge, hahax
then, d CCACs headed to AVA room
nominations time
for us sec4s, every post was the same, except UG I/C
FARIS!!!
(note that it is brown in colour, hahax)
i was stunned and laughed my heads off when i heard his name
we were just having a regular conversation, nothing really related to the nominations
then, a little video on the camp
soon after then, were were shoo-ed out of the school
darn that stupid bird!!! (mr robin goh)

well, i hope these memories will last forever
it was simply the best camp i've had so far
thrilled to bits, yet, hearts broken to pieces...

*from the bottom of my heart, i sincerely apologise to those whom i've hurt, neglected
and to the girls whom i've accidentally touched the wrong part of your body!
i'm truly sorry!
oh, and i forgot to thank marilyn for the nutella
hehe, i guess no one realized that 2 bottles disappeared on the last day
one for me, one for hafiz, hehe

"i can still feel the wristband wrapped around my wrist
i'm close to shedding tears
but they won't spill
for i see that there's more to life than just inches of memories..."

Life goes on...

2008-11-15T22:23:00.003+08:00

imagine looking at a river in a valley
it keeps on flowing
just the way it should be
it crashes onto the banks, the bed
taking them on
and bound to get dragged back
will it flood the lands?
if it does,
all that matters before will no longer be
missing out on all the remaining parts
if it doesn't,
none of the things it faced will get left behind
regardless of a heavy load,
or a fine grain of sand
it keep on flowing
despite whatever it takes along with it
till it reaches the sea
where the sea takes the flow away peacefully...

you, are the river
your life is just like the flow
the daily obstacles of life you encounter
they slow you down, trying to take the best of you
will you give up? take your life away?
and forget about future... everything that usually matters...
forget about attaining joy at the end of the road...
or will you persevere? strive till your last breath?
taking along with you
all the sweet memories and bitter regrets
only to know that despite all you've been through
the story will end on a happy note

everyone faces the same challenge over and over again
but the bigger challenge is making the right choice
many have pulled through
many others trying to pull through
unfortunately, some pulled out
which one will you be?

"if i was perfect, then this would be easy
either road plausible, or both i could drown..."

Just my stand...

2008-10-29T22:05:00.002+08:00

well, this is a story during Deepavali at Tamil's house...
YOUR BRIYANI WAS DELICIOUS!!!
it was, hell's flames in heaven!!! (referring to d spicy chicken curry n sambal prawns)
then, watched tv, there was the music awards show
and the opening act was Aerosmith
the girls were like critics
saying tt Steve Tyler was old, etc.
HEY!!! Steve Tyler is one of the best!
have u seen any other singers hitting high notes like he does?!
have u seen any other singers opening their mouths wider than the head of their mic?!
and i like his singing style!!
anw, had to whisper to Irwan about it
but even so, we juz took it easy
well, it's better to have these girls talking trash than getting myself thrashed by their words
(their words were spicier than the sambal prawns)

well, i guess my class have to be more open to music
as for me, i'll keep some of the doors shut
bcuz some artists seriously do not know how to define 'music'
and i think i still won't turn on the radio
ok, maybe i'll turn it on occasionally
why? bcuz in my opinion, the quality of mainstream music that is being played on local radio stations is simply getting worse
hopefully it doesn't get any worse...

ONE NIGHT ONLY!!! (Part 2)

2008-10-27T22:05:00.005+08:00

*have you read the previous two posts?*

before i continue with my story, i need to tell you this...
i still ended up behind Malay girls even after searching for hadi
haiz... getting bored of the same old same...
now, back to story...

after Unholy Confessions, dearest Mr. Syn Gates played a random solo
a totally radical one!
it was a build-up from a slow start, to a rapid ending
a great mixture of tremolo picking, dive bombs and squealies
(refer to wikipedia or something to find out what they mean)
in the mean time, saw Zacky by the side of the stage, talking to a stage crew while drinking his beer (glass bottle, not can)

next was another random song they played as a band
except this time, it was more metal-lish and it was instrumental
another hell of a random song!!!

BAT COUNTRY
when Matt started saying "he who makes a beast out of himself...", everyone started screaming, knowing that it was Bat Country
one of the best tracks as it made them famous
they also won quite a handful of awards with this song
jumped so freely to the song, felt like i was being lifted by an angel
or maybe bats, hehe

after the song, Matt had a little chat with us fans
and he asked, "So, is rock 'n roll bigger than hip-hop here in Singapore?"
*SCREAMS!!!*
hell yeah you're right, M. Shadows!!!

GUNSLINGER
the first song i knew about when A7X announced that they were gonna release a new album
actually, it just has the nicest title, so that's why i remember it
in this song, the intro, which sounded like some country singer's guitar, was actually Syn Gates guitar!
and in this song, Zacky used his golden ZV again
this is another one of the slow songs,
or should i say, more jiwang-y (sentimental)
Matt could change his voice pretty fast
from a slow singing one to a sudden scream
not like the screamo ones, i mean like the grungy voice (somewhere in the intro)
surely i didn't jump on this song
why would i jump on a sentimental rock song?

ALMOST EASY
"I'm not insane!"(Matt, on the ego-riser)
"I'm not insane!"(fans)
"I'm not insane!"
"I'm not insane!"
"I'm not insane!"
"I'm not insane!"
WOOHOO!!! a killer track on their self-titled album
it was one of their singles, in fact, the first from that album
Syn Gates really burnt his guitar with the stunning guitar licks (solos)
even though it's already black

after this song, Matt said "Thank you very much!", and they immediately left the stage
everyone were shocked
then, we all shouted "ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!"
"WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE!"
soon, noticed a pair of bermudas heading towards the drumset
heard some drums being played, kinda like the teaser which was played before the concert
soon enough, an orchestra playing...

A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN
*CRAZILY SCREAMING*
the longest track on their self-titled album
and yet, the most addictive!
Zacky now played using a silver ZV guitar
(dude, you are one hell of a guitarist)
"EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT!"
i love that part
"Let's have a wedding! (have a wedding!)
Let's start the killing! (start the killing!)"
then, the whole band laughed, lust like how it sounded on the album
it was so freaky, so, devilish, so, awesome!!!
and what i realised was,somewhere at the end of the song, whereby there was this very deep-voice in a so-called solemnization, it was actually Zacky's voice
he said it while facing to Matt, who said "yes, i do" in a very spooky, sly manner
AAARRRGGGHHH!!! i love that song!!!

when the song ended, A7X thanked us once again, saying that we have been one of the best fans around
(hell yeah we are!!!)
then, they threw some picks and drumsticks
AAAAHHH!!! throw only at the front!!!
but nevermind, at least i enjoyed the concert!
then, they took their leave at 2210 hrs, hehe

even though it was only a 1hr 10 min performance by A7X, the whole occasion was still worth the
$78!!! (inclusive of that, fee)
had a ball of a time!!!
(i know, i got two, don't get so horny, will ya?!)
now, some of the ups and downs...

Ups:
-stunning performance!!! thanks for the great belated b'day present A7X!!!
-there were not really much matreps, mostly were just metalheads
-i was filled with euphoria throughout the whole concert!!! in fact, i still feel it!!!
-Matt called us "one of the most wicked fans in the world"
-they made me forget about food! they were my ecstasy!
-what i said in the previous post, about the queueing (obviously, there was no queue)
-i got a perfect front view of the drum! i only didn't know where the third bass drum was placed
-i saw a few people losing their shoes! and a few flying ones too!
-the music and singing was very crisp and clear
-i was close enough to see the tattoos on Matt's, Zacky's and Syn Gates's arms

Downs:
-A7X played only for 1hr 1omin
-the opening act almost busted my ears
-i got very close to the mosh pits. during the opening act, the left crowd was pushed forward and back, not sure why. and the mosh pits caused people to move back.FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!!! I CAME TO THE CONCERT TO SEE A7X, NOT YOUR STUPID GODDAMN FIGHT!!!
-the asshole europeans/eurasians just slithered through forward as if they had our respect. FUCK OFF LAH!!! YOUR OWN COUNTRY ALSO GOT THE CONCERT LAH!!!
-they didn't play songs from 'Diamonds in the Rough', their B-sides, and the song 'To End The Rapture', the perfect song to end any concert!

well, all in all, would you think that the negative things would outweigh the positive ones?
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!!!

What i noticed:
-Zacky and Syn Gates are like brothers! especially when they play back-to-back in 'Beast And The Harlot', during the post-chorus (or maybe it was 'Bat Country", somewhere in the bridge. AAAHH!!! i hate having a STM) it's great to have a band with right-handed and left-handed guitarists!!! any lefty guitarists in school? hehe
-Syn Gates and Johnny are like close friends! when there was a bass solo, Syn Gates kinda like pointed to Johnny with the thumb, you know, that point towards your back
-some Singaporeans just don't know how to clean up their mess. maybe these people don't even wash their hands after peeing or digging 'gold'. or they've never heard of the term 'flushing'
-most of the crowd were Malays
-most A7X shirts worn were counterfeits, can be easily spotted
-Syn Gates and Johnny used the same guitar and bass respectively throughout the concert
-Matt did not wear any bandanas nor shades, and Syn Gates did not put on his trademark fedora
-The Rev always spins his drumsticks before a hard hit on his drums. a great trademark!

anyway, i don't think i'll be posting any pics now
what i got from hadi were all, well, almost shit
so, i think i'll wait for those taken by his cousins, hehe
till then!

"we've all been more than eager to sin,
and it feels alright, 'till we pay the price..."

ONE NIGHT ONLY!!! (Part 1)

2008-10-26T20:29:00.005+08:00

*have you read the previous post?*

sprinted my way towards the crowd
positioned myself somewhere on the middle-left side of the hall
ended up, behind a Malay girl, again.
my eyes glittered at the sight of at least 8 huge speakers being placed together,
forming a convex shape
on both sides of the stage
however, upon realising that i was somewhere right beneath those speakers,
i got a little scared
I DON'T WANNA GO DEAF!!!
oh, the stage set-up was awesome!!!
the picture at the back of the stage was a skeleton on a throne, with a sly-looking face

soon, everyone entered
then, a bunch of five in red tees hit the stage, the opening act for the concert
they were, well, probably Singaporeans
THEY SUCKED!!!
the drum was too loud! my whole chest was thumping furiously!
the lead singer was screaming nonsense! couldn't understand anything he screamed!
i couldn't hear the guitars and bass!
but actually, they were quite ok lah
at least they managed to get the audience's attention
and got us jumping, for a few seconds, hehe
but when they said that they were going to sing 2 MORE songs,
us A7X fans jeered them, booed them off the stage
i laughed hysterically, couldn't control myself
fortunately, they left the stage at around 8.40pm

searched for hadi n his cousins
they were somewhere in the centre of the hall,
facing right in front of The Rev's drum set
waited for another 20 mins
lights out...

CRITICAL ACCLAIM
the best opener for any concert!
everyone sang along with M.Shadows (in fact, everyone sang every song)
during the post chorus, Matt twirled around thrice while swinging his mic stand
on the third time, he threw it somewhere off stage, not really sure where it went
who cares?!
and The Rev truly sang while playing his drums!!!
even when he had to hit both bass drums with his feet while hitting the rest of the drums!
oh, Zacky Vengeance (guitarist) was in one of his Vengeance University shirts (his own label)
with ripped sleeves
Matt in a leather jacket
Synyster Gates (lead guitarist) in white, with ripped sleeves
Johnny Christ (bassist) in white
(Mr. Gates, what wax or gel did u put on your hair? it was spiking like crazy!)
and The Rev in a black tee and bermudas

AFTERLIFE
no doubt that they would sing this song
loved it when Matt stood on the ego-risers and sang the verse while turning left and right
(ego-risers are the raised platforms at the front of the stage; term only used by A7X
they have no idea what they are called, and neither do i!)

after that song, Matt greeted his fans, us
then, he opted to remove a leather jacket to reveal a black Guns N' Roses tee, sleeveless
(their arms were big, seriously)

BEAST AND THE HARLOT
MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE!!!
Zacky changed his golden ZV guitar to his old cherry red one with the initials 6661
the song got me jumping non-stop!
Syn Gates proved that he was truly the best guitarist with his perfect shredding
oh, and at that time, he too, was on an ego-riser
the inlays of his guitar is wicked!!!

SCREAM
Zacky, back to the gold ZV guitar
there were no sexy dancers this time, unlike the one in the Live in the LBC dvd
hahax
i like it when the first chorus ended
Matt stood on an ego-riser, gave the crowd a stare and twirled his mic inwards!!!
so cool!!!

next was a song that they claimed they had made it an hour earlier
Zacky was the singer, and Matt took a little breather
it sounded very, well, i dunno
something like 'La Bamba', if you've heard of that song

SEIZE THE DAY
the first slower paced song they played for the concert
Zacky with an acoustic now
even when the song is sang live, it's still heartwarming
this time, Syn Gates played the solo on the ego-riser in the middle
(in the music video, he played it on a coffin while it was being lowered)
in the ending part, everyone was singing what the rest of the members sang
however, i sang what Matt sang (hehe, odd one out)

UNHOLY CONFESSIONS
the only song from the Waking the Fallen album that was played
however, it was certain that Matt wouldn't scream like how he used to
Zacky used his 6661 guitar
the song got everyone jumping and screaming
no doubt about it, as this was one of the songs that brought them fame

...to be continued, again...
(sorry lah, com lagging ah
and apologies for not posting any pics, the quality of the photos hadi took were,
too dangerous for your eyes...)

ONE-NIGHT STAND!!!

2008-10-25T21:16:00.005+08:00

*before you read this, i advise you that you exit this blog if your mind is still pure, or if you puke at the sight of male-female contact. everything which would seem horny in the following
post was truly unintentional. please do not have any negative thoughts about me after reading
the post. and please, please, please do not call me any names in relation to this post. anyway, just so you know, this is quite a lengthy post. pictures might be of poor quality. hell no, don't blame me, blame hadi. i didn't have a camera at that time*

"SEVENFOLD! SEVENFOLD! SEVENFOLD!"
thousands of fans gathered in front of the door, chanting, cheering,
anxiously waiting to walk through it
as i waited, i looked at everyone present, observing their looks, expressions and behaviours
out of the blue, everyone started singing some of Avenged Sevenfold songs
Critical Acclaim, Afterlife, Almost Easy, Bat Country, Unholy Confessions, Chapter Four...
on certain occasions, there were some who went, "peep, peep, pee pee peep, pee pee pee peep"
and everyone replied, "BUTOH!!!"(dick)
some were laughing their heads off, and that includes me
as for the ang mohs, they were clueless of what we Singaporeans were saying
some even sang a Hari Raya song, which got me chuckling
people continued their antics as i waited humbly for the crowd to move

at around 7 pm, the doors opened.
the whole crowd charged forward in anticipation to get through the gates as fast as possible
unfortunately for me (or maybe fortunately), i could not move my left hand
it was stuck in between my thighs and a girl's... ASS!
hahax, she even had a boyfriend, but they both seemed no older nor taller than i am

soon enough, the crowd pushed forward again
this time, my dick was by her ass!!!
and she didn't seem to bother!!! hahax!
as they chatted, the girl occasionally swung her head around
on one occasion, her head hit my jaw
she quickly turned her head around to apologise, and i just replied with a giggle and an 'ok'
then, two chinese girls tried to move out of the crowd
one of them had her boobs sliding past my right arm and back, hahax!

as the crowd moved forward slowly, i realised that hadi and his cousins were far behind!
and i was surrounded by girls from all sides!
THANK YOU GOD!!! hahax
in front of me were two gothic-looking ang mohs,
and when i turned left, there was a girl in tudung (Malay/Muslim women's headdress)
i was, well, surprised, and maybe thankful as well
we moved, and moved, and moved, and when i was close to the gates,
i made a last gasp dash, as well as those around me
i was the last one to enter before they allowed people from another side to enter
*phew!*
but it felt kinda special...

then, i headed for the security table where the guard rummaged through my bag
and he took out my water bottle and a bag of chips
OMG!!! i forgot to have my dinner!!! my lunch was at 2!!!
then, i moved on, had a portion of my ticket ripped off by this wonderful lady
finally! air-con!
amazed at the size of the inside of the building,
i walked and then jogged towards the stage,
oblivious of my surroundings, only to get my spot in the stands...

...to be continued...

18: sakura, 19: influenza, 20: bonanza!

2008-10-20T21:21:00.002+08:00

first off, 18 October
went to Sakura at some place in orchard (1st time!)
came quite late actually, wif irwan, hafiz n yelicia
(chill yel, we're gentlemen, not assholes)
everyone seemed well-dressed
and the food was AWESOME!!!
won't talk much about tt, juz gotta taste it 4 yourselves
n thx class 4 singin d bday song :D

after tt, headed 2 THE heeren, window shopped
then to plaza sing
wanted 2 watch Max Payne but went to arcade 1st
then, me, irwan n eugene went around d mall cuz we couldn't stand d lights n sounds
aftr tt, watched d movie, which was quite ok
but d storyline wasn't tt great
only mark wahlberg's acting was good
there was one part where he growled, then got up and limped
i was laughin my ass off cuz i suddenly pictured bean in d scene (sry dude, juz couldn't stand it)

anw, juz nw, i read d Berita Harian,
saw an article which says tt 2 ppl were attacked tt nite at 10pm
woah, we left at arnd 8+
scary
must be d work of d matreps

today, 20 October
my bday!
thx to all those who wished me a happy birthday!
too many to list down, but i remember amirah wishing me the earliest
a be-early bday, or wadeva u call it
THANKS SO MUCH GUYS!!!
passed amirah her belated bday present (sry 4 d confusion
dun worry amirah, i enjoyed my search 4 ur present
in fact, going out alone rocks!!! met some great peeps, hahax)
n got 1 for myself
then, celebrated bday n ate dinner at home
Ibu's nasi ayam!!! woots!!! awesome!!!
nothing beats having dinner wif ur family
anything can happen, anything can appear on d table, anything can be shared
and most of all, ANYTHING CAN BE EATEN!!! (maybe excluding veggies for me)
ahh, rite now, i'm bloated to the max
dunno when i'll change my blogskin... (hahax, no link)

shake leg

2008-10-09T20:46:00.002+08:00

yeah, free at last!
exams are over, and the concert is coming soon!
my birthday is coming soon!
actually, quite a handful of birthdays coming up
if i'm not mistaken, there's amirah, jian xin, xinying, siddiq 4/4...
anyone else?
anyway, i guess i'll be spending a lotta time jamming at home
(aaahhh... my beloved guitar...)
and also build some muscles (i noe, i'm DAMN skinny)
hopefully i don't blow my money too fast
actually, i've already spent arnd $20 juz now
n there's a lotta stuff 2 be bought...
haiz... money come, money go...

oh no!!!

2008-09-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

ATREYU IS COMING TO TOWN AS WELL!!!
aww man!!!
why did the Rockstar Taste of Chaos tour had to reach here??
haiz... 8 nov... hopeless.
hmm, well, for now, just have to focus on the exam
then raya, up my fulus (money)
then b'day, hopefully get more fulus
then concert!!!

anw, are merchandises sold during concerts??
cuz i'd like to buy a shirt, despite knowing that my parents disapproves of those skulls n skeletons
then hide the shirt in my closet, hehe
(surely i wouldn't want to buy those cheapskate band tees at peninsula)
anyway, how much money should i bring??
and, err, max pavilion...
where's d backstage?? i'd like to try and sneak in and meet mr. syn gates
hehe

ok ok, focus, exam ain't done yet...

hehe, 4 days after...

2008-09-21T20:59:00.002+08:00

guess what?
I BOUGHT A TICKET 4 THE AVENGED SEVENFOLD CONCERT!!!
WOOHOO!!!
well, first came AVril Lavigne
now here comes AVenged sevenfold!!!
nyahahahahaha!!!

people who i should thank:
my mom, aka ibu (she was d one who allowed me 2 go n told me 2 borrow from sis)
my dad, aka ayah (for not opposing, hehe)
my eldest sis, aka kakak (thx for d $50!!! and also for telling me tt sistic was at lot1)
hafiz/bob (for helping me consider my decision, even though i didn't do as suggested)
marilyn (for telling me tt a7x is coming n also for helping me consider)
hadi (for telling me tt u were going as well, hence, i know that i'll be accompanied)
the woman at the sistic counter (for giving me the ticket, hehe)

now, juz gotta work hard for EYE
PASS A.MATHS! PASS E.MATHS! PASS PHYSICS! GET A FOR CHEM!
GET A FOR MALAY! GET B FOR ENGLISH! A FOR COMB. HUMANS! B FOR GEOG!
then, enjoy after EYE
after that, celebrate b'day, as well as amirah's, xinying's n alvin's)
then concert!!!

oh, everyone, plz remind me to go straight back home on the eve of hari raya
i don't wanna break another tooth
i wanna go back home, kiss ibu on d cheek
wait for ayah to come back home, kiss him on d cheek
and end my one month of fasting perfectly...

my overloaded head

2008-09-01T23:21:00.003+08:00

imagine if you're creative
you have a vivid imagination
you're artistic
you express your feelings through art
you are passionate about art
but what if your creativity stains your artwork?
what if your ability, your weapon,
becomes your greatest fear?
the mark left behind by the tip of your pen
becomes the mark that chases you
the mark that binds you, bathing you in cold sweat
you poison yourself with every moment of thought
all because your mind is corrupted
decaying, rotting
due to your sickest imagination
how do you get rid of this sickness?

ntuc weekend...

2008-08-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

yesterday
clad in a purple t-shirt, black jeans n purple sneakers
i walked around lot 1 with an NTUC plastic bag
juz now, in d afternoon
stranded in limbang (due to heavy rain), with an NTUC plastic bag
perfect weekend, huh?

Incubus - Dig

2008-08-15T23:21:00.002+08:00

Title: Dig
Artist: Incubus
Album: Light Grenades

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.

winning relationships...

2008-08-15T21:59:00.002+08:00

hmm, yesterday, another workshop
i always expect workshops to be damn boring
but since it's by tt company again (dunno d name), tt particular mindset disappears
it's strange how these peeps manage to make workshops so meaningful
(ok, i found tt ppr...d company's called High Achievers Training Consultancy, i tink)
anw, d same coach is wif us 37 n 38, coach sabrina!!!
n she's wif dis new coach, coach madeline
hmm, mubin, gabriel n me r interested in her, hahax!!!
cute face, check.
beautiful eyes, check.
nice, long legs, check.
nice booty, check.
the upper section...hmm...
hahax, ok, dis is getting sick!!!
emily's gonna slit gills thru my neck if she reads dis!!!

so, d workshop is abt winning relationships
hw 2 make good relationships, so n so
mainly abt friends
friends...
they come, n they go
but they will surely leave an impression, a memory
without them, nobody is able to get past the obstacles of life
it's true
even a man like hitler had friends, one of which he killed
thinking back, i realized how much these friends of mine have helped me
you know why i spit all d hatred from within me only on the blog?
cuz these friends cheer up my life
regardless of whether they're close to me or not,
i sincerely appreciate what they've done
n wif that, i'm gonna change my blog song
i tink i'll change it to Dig, by Incubus...

i'm so lucky, so cursed, so fucked up...

2008-07-31T21:38:00.005+08:00

unbelievably insane
i'm not really sure whether i should be happy or sad
cuz i've juz lost power
ms seah made a decision that i respect, but one that she will regret
thahir remained as captain, and hadi (you know, that &&&&&-haired HADI) took my place
as vice-captain
hey, i can't deny that it hurts deep inside
but then again, what's done is done

however, ms seah blew some fucking false words from the back of her head
she claimed that i hadn't given my fullest
she said that i had SLACKED!!!
in my head, i was like, "what the fuck??!!"
"i see you only giving 50%..."
"you've gotta do better..."
then what the hell does she think i'm doing in the pitch??
it's not the loss of my position that had enraged me,
but it's d accusations that she made
i can bet all my money that the whole cricket team would disagree with her
(cuz i'm d one who has been doing the screaming n shouting all this while)

well, i still got myself to blame too actually
bcuz i dunno how to 'bootlick', hahax
(dogs are better off licking)
haiz...
at least i don't have to lead a bunch of insolent assholes anymore
and it's about time too
cuz i've been thinking 4 a long time
i wanna join PA club as my CCA
i wanna learn new skills, like how to handle the sound system
my passion is brewing
i have no idea why, but i seriously wanna be part of the team
goodbye passion for cricket!!!

oh, and juz so u know, the blog song has been changed
Don't Let Go by Deepfield

three weeks grace dude
if u can't prove that you're worthy,
then i'll be the one taking you down...

roller coaster ride...

2008-07-28T23:24:00.003+08:00

today
actually, it's yesterday, cuz while i'm typing this, it's already tue
anw, i had 2 drag myself out of bed cuz i slept at 1+ am
had my dose of heavy metal on d way 2 skool so tt i'll be awake
reached skool, help out others, blah3
(i didn't know tt d national anthem was being played, hahax)
then, start preparing n all
groomed myself 4 abt 30 mins or so (i'm becoming vain lyk alvin!!!)
then, get ready, n BAM!
the VIPs r here!!!
i still haven't shift into emo yet!!!
yapped my stuff, n realised d vp was there too
then, marilyn left, n i was waiting 4 her 2 come back
clare came, n left...ruban came, n left, n i quickly busted out of d hall
search all arnd d hall, then, heard sth
haiyo!!! they pangseh(spell correct?) me sia!!!
well, nvm, cuz i dun reali wanna say thx or whatsoever 2 d VIPs
i'd rather say "y d HELL do u guys come so early?"

then, played PE, go recess, makan as a whole
go 4 maths lesson (suffocating!!!)
history, got tt old hag again
mt, nvr go for extra lesson, again (never been to any b4)
aftr tt, prepare again, another round of presentation
mainly 2 the upper sec (some were the usual bastards)
couldn't make myself moody
well, it was unexpected tt d sec 5s were d ones who paid attention d most
finished at 3.45 arnd there
YIPPEE!!!
evrybody so happy together
take pics many2
(hey, i onli cute now is it? then evrytime at skool nt cute ah?)
ms yeong bought 4 us donuts, but i doubt tt anybody ate tt
all cannot wait 2 go swensens!!!

went back home, withdraw money from 'bank'(my drawer)
then gt financial assistance(my mom)
headed 2 causeway pt
met up wif them at swensens

WAH!!! 1st time go inside!!! so nice!!! (food also expensive!!!)
i'm lyk, very... jakun (dunno hw 2 say in eng, i tink chinese is suaku or sth liddat)
xiaofei started talking abt relationships n stuff
asking abt crushes n all (so random, rite?)
then, ordered 3 rice: chicken, curry chicken, fish
shared among me , irwan n bean
so delicious!!!
i wonder why drinks were given twice...
then desserts, got gold rush, dunno wad brownie, chocolate fondue!!!
makes my heart melt!
killer desserts!!! makes your teeth rot!!! don't eat too much!!!
(service rating: excellent!)

aftr that, went to the other table, chat wif kaixin, abi, mal n d other guys
me n kx acted drunk, got yel laughing non-stop
mal was sober, cuz she doesn't resort to drinking (but emily takes drugs)
paid d $10 to ms seah (giv u money, juz take lah)

then, all split up, some go watch movie, others go home
took the train wif hafiz, bean, irwan, tamil, logaes, mal, kx
talked crap all d way 2 cck, then home sweet home

it's just one of those days...

2008-07-26T21:37:00.003+08:00

man, time flies by like crazy
really crazy
one moment u were moody bcuz of d 1st day of skool,
d next, your halfway thru term 3
n my mom's bday is coming soon
(no link, hahax)

anw, on tue n thu, had training wif d faggots
aka, d junior cricketers
they've got no ears, no discipline, no respect at all
i was shouting lyk, almost everytime
if only i had d authority to smash a head
(jab jab jab jab, hook, turn and elbow, charge, jump, knee 2 d face, KO!!!)
hey! i'm serious! u think i can't do so?
nvr look down on a geeky kid in a pair of retro specs

yesterday, set up d stuff 4 d encore(dun reali understand wad it means)
of our learning fest presentation
marilyn was...i dunno...
out of her mind???
found out tt avril's coming 2 s'pore
then suddenly v.high
ran around d skool dunno wif who
when she returned, suddenly cry, then high again
(i seriously can't look at ppl crying...am i too soft?)
oh, set up my booth, went 2 ilham's place 2 get some mags
i asked onli 4 music mags, NOT an FHM
since i'm a clean guy, i passed it 2 faris (happy guy)
xiaofei was lyk, "woah..."
then she was the 2nd one 2 read it, hahax
bitchy bitchy!

juz now, continue setting up booth
after finishing, walked around a few times
picked up d litter around wif mubin since gt nth else 2 do
n i'm reali starting 2 hate ms seah
i'm pissed off!
we're d ones doing d work, so juz shut up!
went back home, then off 2 penin
send guitar 4 repairing
haiz...nid 2 wait a few days
now, i gotta borrow a guitar from some1 else

my wallet's drying up right now
and i still haven't saved up 4 mom's bday present
wad am i suppose 2 do?
any financial assistance?

changing blog song soon...again...

stop this shit, will ya??!!

2008-07-13T17:18:00.002+08:00

damn, my email is going crazy
or somebody is trying 2 make me go crazy
firstly, my whole email became chinese
and i had no idea how 2 change d language back
since i can't read chinese
asked my neighbour 2 help, he can't read it well
asked jiaqi, she said it was nt simplified, so she can't read it well
managed 2 solve the problem after 1 week
2nd prob, spamming
damn fucking irritating
continued for a month or so
actually, now, still gt some messages sent
but not as many as last time
3rd, which recently happened
all contacts were, errm, deleted
half of them were blocked
got back most of it
only a handful left
man, have these people lived long enough??
then y not just go n die??
no life at all...

1st week of term 3

2008-06-28T23:11:00.002+08:00

orite, here goes my post...

monday
back 2 skool, wear contact lenses, meet same faces
morning ASS. lead in morning exercise
hmm, eng, PE, etc.
hmm, maths...
ms chua said tt she didn't realise tt i was d so-called "cute and handsome boy" at d front
during morning ass.
well, u noe, d class will go "wooooOOOAAAHHH!!!"
haiyo, so malu siak!!!
new malay teacher is lyk...
old hag
well, whoever she is, d same goes 4 evry1
respect is everything.

tuesday
i dun tink anitin much happened
except tt nick's sideburn is totally awesome (did it happen on tis day???)
one was pointed sharp towards d front, d other 2 d back
oh, at nite, chatted wif xiaofei
nvr realised she was kinda lyk mal
'horns within the halo'
u should noe wad means

wednesday
hey! it's d very first time my conversation wif xiaofei lasted at least 15 mins!
usually, when i talked 2 her, she would either answer in a word,
or give me tt heck of a stare which strikes fear into ruban's heart, somehow
tts a good sign, i hav improved on my social skills, i guess
oh, then during english, gt another project i tink
sth abt MTV or so, 7 peeps in a group,
me, thahir, ruban, azri, mal, yel, xf
thot of a song...
(hey yel, i dun onli listen 2 metal songs, there's a whole lotta other genres tt i listen 2
anw, u might hav also listened 2 metal as well
guess what? lostprophets' genre is labelled as 'alternative metal')
ended up chosing errm, wad's it called...
tt soulja boy song, i dun remember (u noe, wif d superman, so n so)

thursday
can't remember much (the usual me wif d STM)
all i remembered was nt havin training
then played street soccer
2nd time in tt wk (first on wed)
1st match, went against some sec4 peeps wif a bastard in their team
once, i dun really noe wad happened
i lifted my leg, then my mind went totally blank
soon, i was on the ground, landed on my ass, bruised a lil
then continued playin, unfortunately miskicked d ball
then tt bastard said "aik? tendang angin?"(eh? kick wind ah?)
man, blood totally rushed 2 my head, right 2 d brim of it
he was fortunate cuz me n my bro's deadly rams didn't hit him
pity 4 d keeper though (homaidi, one tt i would say d best n d most humble sec4 player)
it was almost impossible 2 put d ball past him
until siddiq went on d attack, scored 2 goals in d same way, end up winning
(hey, i remembered quite a lot)

friday
boring stuff, except 4 maths lesson turned rehearsal
rehearsed 4 a song titled 'so happy together'
sang wif mal n yel(who suddenly dragged me wif her when i was totally blur at tt time)
sang in a lower pitch than them, without d distorted rock voice, of course
if i were 2 go higher, it would either nt be heard or i would squeak
then did a lil dance, snapping
i liked it when i tagged along wif ruban 2 dance 2 d song
wif some of the steps from michael jackson's music video, 'thriller'
it was kinda nice, yet hilarious at d same time
ruban looked v.cute, his head bobbing lyk a true professional
but we were actually facing our arse towards d class (or ms chua perhaps)
then continued on, d so-called stomp peeps doing their stuff
y so-called? they were actually doin d wad i'd call 'machine pass'
(passing of bottles round n round)
i was thinkin tt they would make 3 types of music using junks or so
one in d malay style (wif d drumming sounds lyk d kompang)
one in d chinese style ( wif d crashing sounds lyk d cymbal)
n d other in indian (which i tink must hav drums n jingling sounds)
well, anw, it's their stuff
tts juz my opinion of wad they shud be doin

hmm, juz now, went 2 orchard wif ilham
(bob, if ur reading dis, dun tik we're gay, even though i lyk purple)
go 2 heeren, then far east, to our boss's shop
somewhere on d 4th floor
realised tt d shop was gonna move
ilham bought a tie
i bought straight cut jeans, $30, but boss give discount, $26, hahax
(juz so u noe, tt boss is kinda cute, in specs, long hair, but face gt acne)
then go bugis, ilham bought skinnies n cardigan
(juz so u noe, i'm no trend follower)
reached home arnd 7+
lucky nvr get scolded
now, gotta finish physics project
chows!

i'm not sure why
but it's been a very long time
i've always had a heart 4 girls who wear specs, t-shirt n jeans (n look cute too!)
'how wonderful life is,
if you're in the world'
whoever, you're gonna be...

pale...

2008-06-20T16:13:00.002+08:00

Song: Pale
Artist: Within Temptation

The world seems not the same,
though I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind.
I have stand up to be stronger.

I have to try to break free
from the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
in the end it's worthwhile,
that the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It'll be alright.

I know should realise
time is precious, it is worthwhile.
Despite how I feel inside,
have to trust it'll be alright.
Have to stand up to be stronger.

I have to try to break free
from the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
in the end it's worthwhile,
that the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It'll be alright.

Oh, this night is too long.
I have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I'm floating away.
Through the mist I see the face
of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay.

I have to try to break free
from the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
in the end it's worthwhile,
that the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It'll be alright.

going in blind

2008-06-20T15:33:00.003+08:00

oh dammit...
i broke my specs this morning
right before going 4 prayer
i had no clue how it broke
the right side of the frame suddenly split into 2
went 2 the prayer partially blind
'cuz all i could see was colours and imperfect shapes
everything's so blurry, much worse than a vga camera phone
thus, i had to 'zoom in' whenever i try 2 see an image clearly
fortunately, right after d prayer, i went 2 get contact lenses
almost forgot how 2 put them on
now, i gotta wait till next month before i can get a new spectacle frame, i think

yeah, i know, i'm a nerd

2008-06-14T12:56:00.002+08:00

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Anime Nerd
Drama Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Literature Nerd
Social Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

the result 4 d quiz i've taken juz now
i'm a music nerd?
hehe, maybe dat's true
i do love my music, but my art is far below
maybe i'm nt juz meant 4 art
NO WAY!!! I DO ART!!! IT COLOURS MY LIFE!!!
but music makes up 1/4 of my life
drama nerd? i don't do dramas
but somehow, i usually end up in them
anime? hmm, nowadays, seldom watch them
gamer nerd is 4th... i'm no gamer, so y is it higher than artistic nerd?
hmm, might nt be quite a reliable quiz...

i'm bored

2008-06-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

i'm bored
i'm bored
i'm bored
i'm bored
i'm bored

life is dull
even though there's a guitar at home
and a computer
and sis' laptop
but i'm still bored

still exploring music
still trying to find more bands to listen to
however, i stopped downloading songs (waiting for this oncoming legal downloading software)
and my mp3 has only 2gb of space (honestly, i think i need at least 16gb)
thus, i'm bored

not being impressed at all
cuz' no one is attempting 2 impress me
cuz' i'm not hanging out with anyone
and this leads to a conclusion
that i'm bored.

yesterday...

2008-06-01T16:09:00.001+08:00

well, yesterday, went 2 do cip(beach cleaning)
met up wif d class at 12+
they were lookin at me lyk some kind of alien lifeform
what? u've nvr seen a goody2-geek-from-skool-turned-spiky-haired-rocker??
BET U NEVER HAD!!! hahax
den, realised gt onli a few boys, less than 10 i guess

headed 2 east coast, i think
2gether wif 3/8
i had no idea where we were goin
take train, bus, walk here n there
then reached there, do work 4...15 mins?? hahax
lepak2 wif d rest of d guys until 3.40
nice aviators u got there, jian xin

then almost evry1 go 2 burger king
wah, sit beside xinying can go deaf!!!
her voice can even penetrate my loud music!!!
some go makan, others lyk me juz observe, hehe
soon, left wif d guys, 2gether wif cheryl n xinying, go cineleisure
during d journey, mal seems so...pitiful
sum more in d mrt, we all entered by 1 door n she entered d other
she was struggling 2 breathe!!! luckily, she was still fine n got 2 get closer wif d rest
when alighting d mrt, cheryl shout "EXCUSE ME!!!"
hahax, very loud n high pithced, got evrybody laughing
makan at KFC dis time
there's dis blonde by my back who keeps complaining abt d long wait n d queue
SHUT D FUCK UP BITCH!!!
hahax, saw a couple smooching 4 i dunno how long
one of 'em was i tink tt blonde's fren
haiyo, so nt romantic, kissin at KFC, hahax
there's also a bunch of rockers
then there's dis awesome dude dressed in those gothic clothes,
studded, wif rings n threads hangin here n there
WTF!!! totally UNDERGROUND!!!
but then again, it's kinda funny when all these happens at KFC

arnd 7+, went out of tt building, talk2 4 some time b4 meetin some of d other girls
hahax, xiaofei kas a very cartoony stare
when she stares at xinying, she looks like...CYBORG 007!!!
hahax, den split up again
went 2 heeren, window shoppin
i nvr knew cheryl talks a lot! sum more v.high pitched
entered newurbanmale, saw very funky shirts
hahax, mr. fartface, pimp, etc.
then there's a favourite...MR. MASTURBATE!!!
hahax, v.cute character, holding his dick!
walk2 sum more, waste a lot of time, then head home

what happened??

2008-05-23T22:46:00.003+08:00

oh my...
freakin' tired
totally worn out after d camp
my legs r still shaky
almost lost my voice during d campfire night
but it healed in a short while
let's just say d camp was kinda fun
despite the awesome toilet n food

just now, d class still had the camp spirit
still cheering, shouting all around
hehe, evry1 became each others' dogs
as told by alvin
when some1 starts, d rest all follow
tt includes me i guess
WOOF!

thanks teachers 4 d chocolates
and kudos 2 faris 4 starting a...game?
i'm nt sure, but a handful of ppl started turning around bottles, banging d table, etc.
kinda cool ya noe
co-ordination, teamwork, my class nvr lacks class spirit
we're kinda united maybe
dunno when tt 'game' started, but after spring cleaning, a bunch of ppl started playin 2gether
tt includes amateur ms chua
hahax, to her, it's more stressful than a.maths
other classes came 2 visit n watched d performance
were they distracted or enjoying it?
tt, i dunno

then, aftr prayer, went 2 d 4th floor, up 2 d 5th n down again wif ilham
spotted faris n irwan wif d 5 pandemonium girls
HEY! NVR GO PRAYER!!!
watched them 4 a while as they tried 2 make new beats
then go lepak2 wif faris, ilham, hafiz n luqman in library
hehe, no life
went home arnd 3+
inspected d guitar bro borrowed from who d hell
looks lyk EPIPHONE JUNK
rusted pickups n strings, missing knob, scratches all arnd
WTF!!!
but d effects paddle looks nice
hehe
maybe 2moro gonna get slinkys aftr d ptc
also wanna buy earphones
heading 2 city hall
any1 wanna follow? or i'll be headin there alone
well, nvm
i'm an outcast after all
hehe...

times change, and people change with them

2008-05-17T00:45:00.003+08:00

hey guys, juz changed my blog song
hopefully u guys realise tt i've nvr blown ur brains with those headbanging songs
this is also known as RESPECT
hopefully u guys appreciate it

aniwae, have i been changing a lot lately?
do i keep changing personalities?
it's nt abt split personalities
it's juz tt, self reflection made me realise a lot of things
mistakes, glories, problems n stuff
however, i juz ponder, in search of no answers
i hope i'm still fine
hopefully my mind is still intact by the time i reach 23...

living in a broken home...

2008-05-09T20:49:00.002+08:00

read the title?
i really mean it
literally
well this is why...

a week or two back, the sink in the room toilet burst out into flames
i mean water
well, i forgot who got wet
i think it was my eldest sister
the tap was somehow loose
and my dad just recently fixed it
a few days back i think

and just now, in the morning, it happened again
now, its the kitchen toilet's turn
that same sister of mine was in the toilet, again
she got wet, again
that caused a whole lot of trouble
well, what luck!
hahax
we had to turn off the main water tap (the one outside my house)
i haven't even bathed yet!!!
well, at least there was enough water in the basin to bathe with

oh, after prayer, went home, then gombak to alter my jeans
and i wore my so-called new purple Kappa sneakers for the first time
went there with Ilham, then headed to ALIF restaurant
haven't been there for quite some time
oh, Bob came, then headed to his house
Guitar Hero 3 was fun!!! but i sucked!!! totally!!!
i'd be better of playing a real electric guitar
then, played FIFA 08
lost 4-2 to Bob. damn.
first timer, hehe
well, at least i scored 2!!!
Ilham was basically blur throughout the day
thinking of something? or craving for something?
hehe

then went home, but went 2 Lot 1 first
when i reached NTUC, i realised i only had S$3 left
hahax, nt enough money to buy hair wax
bought Sunkist orange juice, cuz my nose was bleeding yesterday
not enough vitamin Cs, as usual
on the way back, outside Lot 1, saw some basketball girls
actually, the whole bunch of them
10, 11 people i guess
man!!! what team spirit!!!
i can't even find any team spirit in my cricket team
no wonder they can always win games
oh, then, strolled home
my life's kinda boring, huh?

wait, now, arnd 9.20pm, my dad has fixed the tap!
bravo!!! bravo!!!

the pain seeps into me too...

2008-04-12T21:33:00.002+08:00

oh, you're so deceitful
you told me lies to disguise
your life-draining misery
why didn't you tell me before?
you're sick
you're hurt
you're infected
but you're not helpless
i tried to be there
but you never seem to care
that ego blowing up your head
soon you'll be dead
and you'll bleed
and you'll reek
of the ash
that has seeped
in your heart
in your mind
'cuz you thought you were just fine

every ounce that you take
any moment i'll break
into rage
into tears
'cuz i fear
that you heard
the devil's call
that makes you fall
just resist
and persist
face your back to the abyss
of the corrupted, mislead and disheartened

take this plead
as a friend
hold my hand
i will take you out of this barren land
to a place where the light never dies
where the air is never grey
and i will stay by your side
hope you'll end your plight
hope you'll end your fight
for only you can make it right...

AAARRGGHHH!!! i'm juz a successful failure...

2008-04-04T22:13:00.002+08:00

think abt it...
if u were in this state...
u, were skilled n passionate in sth
it was the only thing tt u were best in...once.
then, u've found some other things tt u fell in love with
in fact, many other
u would put every single ounce of blood, sweat and tears into them
after some time, in fact, a long time,
u decided 2 return 2 ur 1st love
however, u were weak
undesirably weak
how would u feel?
what would be ur reaction?

another scenario...
same story, skill n passion in sth
then, somethin traumatic happened
sth u would nvr hav expected 2 happen
when u returned 2 doing tt same thing
u became utterly useless. horrible.
ppl look at u differently
no matter how hard u've tried, u r still a guaranteed failure
how would u feel?
what r u gonna do abt it?
can u even do anything abt it?

forget abt it...

2008-03-30T22:31:00.003+08:00

yozz!
i'm back once more
i've gt a qn...
how do u remember 2 forget?
ya feelin me?
wad i'm tryin 2 say is
there is something tt u wanna 4get
but then, it stays in ur mind most of d times
suddenly, u 4get at it 4 a while
then, u wonder...
"how did i 4get abt it?"
as u wonder, tt thing returns 2 ur mind
y?
cuz u were thinking about it
so how can u 4get something
n NEVER remember it back?

i believe it's a mind thing
well, it's a qn tt might not be solved
it's quite a stupid qn
but then again, u would still wonder, right?
woah woah woah, wait...
my mind is goin bonkers 4 d moment
i'm goin crazy...
well, wadever d thing is
i guess evry1 must think hard
but then again, we shouldn't be goin overboard
dun kill ur brain, mind, n urself, orite?

this is what i say...

2008-03-22T15:39:00.002+08:00

yozz peeps
back 4 another update on life
it sucks, as usual
i dun even feel lyk i'm living animore
keep on doing d same ol' same
day by day, i try 2 get things in my head(which i can't)
seriously, it's unbearable
in dis very position i'm in, i dun even feel lyk anything is happening...
aahh shit, i'm gonna go learn another song on d "Great G"
it's d guitar, by the way...

wad blogskin 2 choose dis time???

No Title

2008-03-08T00:50:00.002+08:00

skools out peeps
TIME IS MOVING DAMN FAST!!!
nothin much 2 talk abt
except tt i'm nt satisfied wif my results
i failed a.maths terribly
i'm also nt sure why i gt A1 for my physics
errm, yay??
and i'm such a disappointment
i gt C6 for malay
what a disgrace i am!!!
i am sry my malay family/pals!!!
i will try 2 make up for it

now, abt cca
we won st. pat's, but lost 2 ping yi
damn it...
oh, d acs(i) match is postponed as well as d macpherson match
however, d acs match will be played from where we stopped (understood?)
and tt means we're gonna lose
nth else 2 say abt tt

holiday plans:
go to australia(hehe, dream on)
skool, skool...
erm, busy on d 12th, gt sth v. important n confidential
get bro's b'day present on d 13th
15th gt outing (am i right??)
dunno if gt go jamming

well, most probably my wallet's gonna blow by d end of d hols
haiz, gotta save more next term
oh, i need help 2 put these things in order of importance (which is why i'm saving) :
1)handphone
2)electric guitar (dis is passion man!!!)
3)ppl's b'day (ppl dun care abt me, y do i oways care abt dis??)
4)clothes (i seriously dun hav enuf clothes)
5)mp3/4 player (i nid 2 store more songs, 2gb ain't enuf 4 my life)
6)headsets (earphones, headphones, etc.)(oh, n a speaker)
7)cd albums
8)watch (i seriously hav a problem if i dunno d time)

i won't put skool bks/notes in d list
they r wad i DON'T WANT, but i dun understand y dey call it a NEED
hehe, wtf

come n go...

2008-02-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

haiz...
time goes by so fast
dun hav enuf time 2 do evrytin i want
basically, din do much 4 d past 2 days
onli tt i went 2 play futsal at balestier
hehe, my team won against bro's team
although i'm rusty, i still scored a goal! woohoo!

den juz now, in d aftrnoon, went 2 west coast wif fam
rilek-1-corner, walk arnd, din do anitin much
time ain't enuf in life
well, wad 2 do...

oh, another thing i did these days was playin d guitar
hehe, learnt 1 more song, and still learnin another
so, i think i can play arnd 5 or 6 songs oredy
HAHAHAHAHA!!! MARILYN!!! I'M GONNA ROCK BETTER THAN U!!!
well, wtf, hehe...

i tink i'm nt tt good at playin chords...haiz...

chill...

2008-02-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

woohoo! we lost in d group stages!
no, THEY lost in d grp stages
cuz i'm nt in d team!
take tt u stupid fat-ass coach!
hehe, go pick ur fav player(darna) again
win onli 1 out of 4 matches
aniwae, on tt wednesday, didn't go 4 lessons!
muahahaha

headed 4 kallang 4 d competition
15 peeps came, but onli 10 were in d team
those who were left out were me, hadi, syafiqul, jasper n dexter
n d coach led his team down in d dumps!!!
he onli watched d 1st match they were playin
den, he left. so supportive of him
it was an 8-a-side tournament, wif 2 reserves
n it was no surprise darna played all d matches
oh well, tt shit n d coach oways think highly of themselves
brag brag brag, yeah yeah, wtf
evrybody's ears r closed

aniwae, i liked tt place
there's a kfc on one side, n a mac on d other
but kfc's better. FREE REFILL!!!
went there during d break
seriously bloated 4 some time
den, somewhere arnd 5, me n hadi headed 2 mac, bought some ice-cream

it's kinda funny 2 see tt d team was dejected when we returned
it's lyk, dey dun seem 2 noe wad dey're playin 4
if i WERE to play, i'm sure tt i'm nt playin 4 d coach, i'm playin 4 other reasons
n at tt time, d coach was nowhere 2 be found

evrythin ended arnd 7, reached back at skool, almost 8
thot of playin block catchin, den realised gt some kinda nite classes
oh well, evry1 returned home

d next day, gt some kinda debrief
onli abt 9 came, 5 of which r those who didn't play(me n me gang)
coach spittin nonsense from his big tummy
den, out of d stomach, he suddenly criticised me n hadi
well, whaddya noe, he hates us
n there was nt a single word abt darna

luckily, my bro taught me sth yesterday
he taught me how 2 calm down, take it easy
i juz gotta prove 2 fat bastard tt i'm better somehow
so now, i'm juz gonna try n keep my cool
chill...

my 2 heavens...

2008-01-19T21:56:00.000+08:00

yozz
wassup again peeps
well, juz now, headed 2 queensway wif some of d cricketers
had 2 find jersey
pretty tough reali, since our jersey had 2 be white, n has a collar
well, kinda hard 2 find wad we wanted
tt means gotta try other places

kinda jealous actually
my bro bought a pair of converse n 2 umbro jerseys
den, return home wif empty pockets
haiz...

well, i didnt return home straight aftr queensway
headed 2 city hall, got a few guitar stuffs
man, walking in peninsula alone is kinda scary
all dis gangsters or look lyk gangsters kinda stare at u
lyk dey wanna fight
aniwaez, headed from excelsior hotel, 2 penin plaza,
den 2 bras basah complex

SWEE LEE IS HEAVEN!!!
quite a huge store, n all d guitars, drums
FUCKIN AWESOME!!!
but i took a hard time findin it
i couldnt find d map, so juz walk arnd in circles
n wif tt, i found a few other guitar shops
but it's fuckin embarrassin when u enter d shop wif no other customer in there
well, at least there's d guitars 2 make u ignore them

i guess someday i'm gonna step into swee lee again
if i gt d pprs
yeah, lights out...

one more thing...

2007-12-31T22:08:00.000+08:00

oh, n juz so u guys noe, I'M NT EMO!!!
i'm juz sentimental, tts all
hehe
aniwae, i'm more into listenin 2 heavy metal, sentimental rock n goth rock songs
so, i'll say it again...
I'M NOT EMO!!!

oh, n thx lishan 4 tellin me wen skool starts
i almost tot tt it starts on d 3rd lyk wad happened dis yr
hahax

i wanna change...
i wanna be more silent...
cuz i'm an underground kid
juz so u noe, i'll stay down below
i dun giv a damn abt bein popular
i'd rather keep my life 2 myself than showin it off 2 somebody else...

thkool ith gonna thtart thoon...

2007-12-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

hmm...
skool is gonna start soon
N I STILL HAVEN'T GOT A NEW TEETH!!!
MY GRANDMA HAD JUZ REPLACED HER TOOTH!!!
WAD ABOUT ME???!!!
hahax
tts y d title of dis post is liddat
ur still gonna see tt beautiful smile of mine again nxt yr

well, aniwaes, went 2 popular at jurong east juz now
had 2 exchange my bk 4 an ink cartridge
i did not ask 4 a a.maths txtbk!!!
n i had 2 pay an additional $24 for it!!!
i had 2 borrow d money frm ilham!!!
well, tt was wad happened last sat
so, juz now, wen tryin 2 exchange it, kinda lyk a havoc
walked frm 1 counter 2 another
den kinda stopped d queue 4 a while
sry peeps!
den returned ilham $30
he was so relieved he had his $30 back, he even kissed it!
hahax

aniwae, waited 4 my dad 2 arrive
well, after waitin 4 more than 1 hr, den he arrived
so much 4 d 3 o'clock
he arrived at 3.40

den, headed 2 queensway shoppin centre
my 2nd home!!!
well, walked arnd 4 some time
den decided 2 buy d same shoe i did as last yr
hahax, except tt it's white dis time
n WTF!!! it's $79!!!
last time i bought it, it was $60+!!!
well, i still decided 2 buy it, hahax

den, my dad brought us (me, him, ilham, bro, ygr sis) 2 a hawker centre at queensway
bought nasi ayam sambal
so delicious!!! oh, n bought bandung as well
such a tall cup, nice!!!
den bought a plate of mutton chop
shared wif bro
so we both ate a total of 1 n a 1/2 plate of food
hehe, 1st time eat tt much at a hawker centre
den went home ler...

back...

2007-12-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

yozz...
back from my cuz's house in johor
honestly, didn't do much
spent most of my time wif my beloved mp3 player
n evry1 tinks i'm listening 2 d songs too loud
haiz...
aniwae, oso listened 2 sum adult conversations
work, problems, so n so
well, now i'm back
actually, i returned home arnd 12 nn, n not 12mn

hmm...now, it seems tt some of my cuz's families hav problems
well, my uncle(d 1 in mal) recently stayed in dis new terrace house
but he's regrettin it cuz he has 2 pay 4 security n he doesn't work
there4, my granma seems 2 be a lil frustrated upon his decision
well, at least he's still livin
n another 1 of my uncles is havin a house problem
i'm nt sure y, but it's somethin 2 do abt house ownership
well, tts all, i guess
hmm...so boring SIAL!!!
guess it's juz me, mp3 n guitar...

tmr...

2007-12-22T21:12:00.000+08:00

well, actually, i'm leavin tmr, n nt 2dae
cuz my dad had 2 work
i dunno y
well, so, tts juz 4 ur info
if u see me on9 rite now
so, erm, yeah
tts it...

more boring days 2 come...

2007-12-21T18:27:00.000+08:00

hmm...
BORING...
well, yesterday, went 2 both my granny's house
since it's hari raya haji
well, seriously, it was kinda boring
except when my dad cracked jokes, hehe

den, juz now went popular at lot1
buy some sch books
damn, they're expensive
oh, but b4 goin there, i was havin a bad headache
my body was damn heavy
took a nap 4 a moment

oh, juz so u noe, i won't be here from tmr till d 25th
go 2 cuz house at johor
i wonder if there's a flood there...

n i recently found out wad 'nookie' means
hehe, fuck...
wad d fuck...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WAD D FUCK MAN!!! WAD D FUCK!!!
hmmm...

congrats yulzzzzzz!!! u hav achieved somethin great!!!

2007-12-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

yayz!!!
i finally figured out how 2 play chapter 4!!!
well, although i cant play it PERFECTLY, i still noe hw 2 roughly play it
i'm sure many cant play it perfectly as well, hehe
so, err...
oh yeah, next song i'm gonna learn, limp bizkit's nookie
i'm nt sure wad it means, but who cares, hehe
omg!!! wes uses a 4-string guitar!!!
change song!!! hahax
try playin simple songs 1st

oh, i hav a few targets at d moment
1stly, gonna try n play better than ilham
den, i tink it's mal
den mubin, my bro(he learns way faster than me)
den, i guess haziq will be my last target!!!
yeah!!! wif d passion, i'm confident i can make it
watch out peeps! I'M COMIN UP BEHIND YOU!!!

rainfall, football, n cockraches runnin around d wall

2007-12-11T15:18:00.000+08:00

yozz!!!
hmm, gonna talk abt yesterday
well, too tired 2 post then

planned 2 play futsal at east coast
or west? i tink it's east
oh yeah, it's east
but me, bro, fadzil, ariff, farhan(ariff's fren) n nazali went 2 causeway point 1st
met up wif akid, den eat at, err,
wad's d restaurant at d last lvl?? i 4gt
aniwaes, went back 2 woodlands mrt,
met up wif another farhan(ariff n fad's cuz), halid n irfan
well, we're all related somehow
hehe

erm, took bus 966 2 east coast
err, it was drizzling then
den, suddenly, it rained heavily
farhan(d cuz) said tt it wasnt tt far
we ended up rinnin in d rain 4 arnd 30 mins
ain't tt far, lyk real
well, at least ended up there

erm, split into teams
me, br, fad, farhan(fren) n nazali, 1 team
d rest r d other team
5 on 5, played 2 matches
1 per hour
actually, we onli booked for 1 hr, but we gt d next hr 4 free
cuz nobody booked it
well, my team ended up thrashing d other team, hehe
den, we juz sat outside d pitch 4 some time
cuz our clothes were still wet, n it was still rainin
den, wen we were abt 2 leave, i was wearin my jeans on d bench
since d ground had some kind of rubbery stones from d pitch
dey were painful 2 step on

suddenly, akid was screamin wen he lifted up his bag
he saw a cockroach in his shoebag
hahax, den, another 1 came out of nazali's bag
ariff stomped on 1 of it, den d other was still crawlin around
wtf!!! it was dirtyin my shoe!!!
den, ariff stepped on d other
fadzil was so scared, he didnt dare 2 wear his clothes
but he still ended up wearin them

so, we headed 2 Mac
bleddy cold sia!!! since our clothes still quite wet
den, took bus at somewhere near parkway parade
den, mrt at eunos, went straight home

happy anniversary ibu n ayah!!!
my sis bought a cake 4 them, since we all forked out our money
well, den go bath, happy eatin
oh, i was abt 2 sleep, but my sis was playin d xbox
siblings all in d room, started talkin crap
den, my sis said 'self-praise is no praise' 2 my bro
cuz he was praisin himself, dunno 4 wad
suddenly i was lyk, singing, makin my own lyrics
evrytin was juz poppin out of my head
n d chorus was 'wad d hell am i singing?'
hahax, kinda fun crappin wif my siblings

well, guess tts it then...
n i still havent change my blog song
kinda lazy, hehe...

n i'm currently drawn back into listenin 2 limp bizkit...

i'm sorry. so sorry. your beauty is so vain.
it drives me, yes it drives me... absolutely insane...
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!

december...

2007-12-05T15:41:00.000+08:00

hmm...
it's d time of d year
where ppl hav d biggest chance of gettin wad dey want
well, i guess
n it seems tt almost evry blog i go,
there is PSP on d person's wishlist
PSP is currently corrupting ppl's minds
includin me! hahax
but i dun crave for 1
well, at least 4 now
oh, n i guess if these ppl will hav a PSP
they still won't be speakin d same language as bob
well, at least i can understand some of it, hehe

guess i'll be changing my blog song soon
d song is called...

smash your mind into 1000 fuckin pieces!!!

2007-12-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

arrgghh!!!
playin d guitar is so frustrating
especially when u hit d wrong strings or play d wrong notes
it's lyk, u noe, d buzzer sound if u answer wrongly
well, tts how it sounds
i might smash my guitar one day
hahax
kiddin
man, i'm seriously losing my patience
but must handle
lyk no one has ever said before: "if u wanna be d fuckin best,
den do ur fuckin best u bastard!!!"
hahax, wtf...

speedpicking. speedpicking. speedpicking. speedpicking. speedpicking.

ccac camp rawkzzz!!!

2007-11-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!!
ccac camp was awesome!!!
loike, totally!!!
uh-huh!!!
yeah!!

lemme see...
oh, 1st day, errm...
hmm...
ok, i 4gt mostly wad had happened...
aarrgghh!!! so stm!!!
oh, i juz remembered, my group, WHATEVER(can drink),
we were each given a badge
thx candice(group IC)!!!
came up wif a silly cheer
we were dancing around lyk monkeys, hahax
oh, n we won d amazing race!!!
yeah!!!
we were running back n forth, headed 4 many parks
den, we unscrambled all d clues 2gedder 2 find our finishin point
which was d equipment room
......
played games, err, cheers, plannin 4 gala nite,
n sum more games, cheers, n games, den more cheers, plannin
oh, nite walk, hehe
so basket
Sec 4s(dis yr sec3) told all dis nonsensical stories
n tt was wad dey exactly did 2 scare us
walked wif thahir, quite far
gt scared once, but den ok2 lah
i was lookin at a red chair in front of d ncc room,
den Zul n dunno who popped out from behind d pillar n d wall
i tink
aftr tt, dey try scarin us sum more, but nt scared animore ah
well, tts it 4 tt day

4 d 2nd day, had PT
quite tiring, but i lyk sprinting, hehe
den aftr breakfast, gt workshop, dunno hw long
den lunch, n continue wif d workshop
d workshop was filled wif silly facilitators
hahax
especially d 2nd half of d workshop
guys seperated from girls, den gt play games
n we try 2 facilitate as well
hahax, i dun remember d coaches name
1 of them oways get a sotong clap
hahax
but seriously, he was lyk daydreaming all d way
we giv him sotong clap oso can say "huh, wad??"
hehe

oh, obstacle course was fun3!!!
gt dirty in d mud n all
oh, n as usual, hehe, my group was 1st
rawks on WHATEVER!!!
gala nite was oklah, kinda fun, but boring as well
ermm, we did a skit based on our our group name
had 2 scenes in which d word 'whatever' is involved
hehe, i played my part in d 2nd scene wif Izzat
u noe, d cute lil guy from 1/1
we were d prata stall owners in a hawker centre
well, Izzat did d talking, n we were makin prata lyk idiots
hehe, i flip3, Izzat fry3
den, wen d customers come, we had sum special way of serving
wobbled our heads, den fingers goin in a twister
hehe
oh, WHATEVER was d best, once more
ehem hem
hehe
den, gt exco election, errmm...
d 5 exco members r Yelicia, Lishan, Hasif, Minwei n Azmee
Chao Yan is no longer an IC
so pitiful

3rd day(2dae), gt do cheers, played some games b4 telematch
oh, telematch was exciting!!!
gt 3 games, errm dunno our positions,
but Coca-cola won 2 out of 3 games
tt was faris's group
den, area cleanin, debrief
den, prize presentation
really thot tt Coca-cole gonna win,
cuz dey about 2 catch up wif us
as in d total points
but WHATEVER won!!!
woohoo!!!
seems tt evry1 worked hard 4 it n we made it 1st!
hmm...
best sec2 camper: Amnah
best sec3 camper: Yelicia
dey so d very d enthusiastic, d very d laugh-a-lot n happy-go-lucky
i wonder wad happened 2 them wen dey were born
did dey cry or laugh??
hehe
well, aniwaez, tts all i hav 2 tell
yeah, guess so

n i still dun hav my front teeth...

each step takes you to a darker place...

2007-11-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

you've made ur choice
and it seems 2 be a wrong decision
you've enjoyed it while it lasted...
for a while.

repeat d same ol' fuckin mistakes
fooled by d same ol' fuckin scam
ur no longer 1 of d good guys...

unless u change
unless u make a difference in your life
a difference where you'll have 2 suffer 4 a moment
yet, it will all be worth d excruciating pain
cuz ur life won't be miserable anymore
you won't have 2 hide anymore bad deeds from your friends
your family
yourself.

...control yourself before you control anybody else...

money money money...

2007-11-21T16:28:00.000+08:00

orite...
i am fuckin 'kering' rite now
in english, 'dry'
in other words, i gt nt much money left
ARRGGHH!!!
i'm fuckin jealous bob!!!
he bought 2 bloody awesome shirts!!!
wad d hell??!!
maybe d name bob has some kinda meaning
Brother Of Bucks
wadever...

aniwae, since i'm broke
my hopes of getting more A7X stuff is dashed
well, lemme see
i nid 2 get 3 more discs, n it would cost around...
WTF!!! $90++
damn!!!
where am i suppose 2 get all tt money??
all thx 2 d money-spending madness...

i won't let this build up inside of me...

2007-11-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

Vermillion, Pt.2
Slipknot

She seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame.
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me
I'd do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sane.

She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable, Shes a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

A catch in my throat choke
Torn into pieces
I won't, no!
I don't wanna be this...

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

She isn't real
I can't make her real
She isn't real
I can't make her real

let's draw!

2007-11-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

HAAAHAHAHAHAHA...
i lyk drawin wif pens!
well, i juz became interested in drawin wif pens
cuz i hav been drawin wif onli pencils 4 a v. long time
n now, i'm re-drawing my previous drawings wif pens
n it's not juz any pen
it's err, lemme see...
Sakura Pigma Micron pens!

HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
man, dey r excellent!
i tink i'm addicted 2 drawin, again

...n i still suck at playin d guitar...

bothered...

2007-11-10T20:29:00.000+08:00

i wonder y...
but i feel tt my fam has been buyin a lotta stuff lately
it's lyk, we r gettin richer by d day
well, i guess it started when i bought d Levi's jeans
den, it's lyk we all continued buy stuff
n our money keeps goin up n down
but mostly down
hehe

CAN SOMEONE PULL ME OUT OF THIS MONEY-SPENDING MADNESS???!!!

hehe, me now...

2007-11-08T21:17:00.000+08:00

yozz!
i am now almost botak!
hahax
had a haircut dis aftrnoon
well, decided 2 make my hair short
cuz latr, somewhere in d early december,
shud be long enuf 2 spike
hehe
aniwae, i oso wanted 2 make my hair all balanced
as in they r of d correct length
tt is, i wan d side n back 2 be much shorter than d top
so, tts it 4 now, i guess

me class!

2007-11-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

orite peeps
me heading 2 3/7, which is c4
yeah, gt quite a handful of malay boys
buahahahaha!
lemme see...
hafiz basterd, mubin, faris...
err, dunno who else, hehe
well, there's nicholas, thahir, err...
dunno lah
but i gt confident tt if gt inter-class soccer,
sure gt chance 2 win
wakakaka!!!
hehe, out of all d things, i tink abt tt
well, tts me, ok?

in terms of class spirit, i tink gd enuf
i tink
hopefully
yeah.

well, aniwae, i'm now enjoying some great songs
tt SOME ppl dun hav
well, tt person will noe himself
hehe
dun disturb...

my journey...

2007-11-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

orite, now, gonna talk abt wad exactly happened
woke up at 10+, bath, eat, blah3
hehe
orite, met up wif Ilham at cck mrt
took bus 190 at d interchange
den, at d stop in front of lot 1, ms soh boarded d bus
wtf??!!!
man, she spotted us
haiz, bus ride so long...
look at d back of her head 4 so long...
luckily she sit quite far in front of us
we were sitting at d back of d bus
hehe

finally, she alighted at...
far east plaza?
y there?
i oso dunno...
aniwae, she went out of d bus, den waved at us
we were happily waving back
bye!!!
man, d relief was lyk d pleasure after...
u shit.
hahax
den, headed 4 heeren
step by step, heart was thumping harder n harder
quick2, 2nd lvl
now, head 2 metal section!

yesh!!!
woah, gt a few albums, n left wif juz 2 MVIs
well, juz enuf 4 me n Ilham
wait, d MVI, it's M18
wtf!!! it's juz a few bad words from them man!!!
we were standing there, wif d albums in our hands
planning wad 2 do
i came up wif d plan 2 get a MATURE person
n asked him 2 help buy 4 us
but i didnt make tt move, instead, Ilham did it
hehe

aniwae, 1st, we saw dis emo ang moh guy
but didnt dare 2 ask him
latr scared dun undrstand wad he sayin
hehe
den, gt dis chinese guy leaning on d wall wif his PDA
nice spiky hair dude
hehe
well, Ilham approached tt guy, went 4 d plan
n he was willing 2 do it 4 us
woohoo!!!
well, he bought it 4 us while we waited at d same spot
Ilham anxiously lookin at him
as 4 me, juz act lyk dunno, look at all d other albums
hehe
man, we salute u dude!!!
Ilham bowed 2 tt guy lyk a japanese man
den, d cashier kinda looked at us
well, tts wad i thought

so, we headed quickly up 2 d 3rd floor
juz 2 get rid of suspiscion
n find a japanese album 4 my sis
well, it's her b'dae
gotta get sth 4 tt j-rock fan
hmm...
find Phantasmagoria, dun hav
Malice Mizer, price out of budget
MUCC, same story
lemme see, too many 2 list out
den, found Love Psychedelico's new album
Golden Grapefruit
rite within my budget

well, bought tt, then go window shoppin
go Converse, Flash N' Splash, 77th Street
blah3
den walked all d way 2 Far East Plaza
go 2 another 77th Street
haiz, Ilham still couldnt find wad he wanted
den, aftr some time headed home

hehe, kinda fun being wif him, crapped all d way
from d start till d end
hehe
orite, tts it now
nitez peeps!

HAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

2007-11-05T22:27:00.003+08:00

YEAH!!!
i got d new A7X album!!!
woohoo!!!
rock on!!!
n i got all d songs b4 hafiz 2/7
well, both hafiz
hehe
aniwae, oso bought d new love psychedelico album
4 my sis, cuz it's her b'dae 2dae
man, dis is awesome
my heart has been thumping since i held on 2 d album in HMV
hehe
dis is thx 2 my gd mayte ilham n a cool chinese guy we met
well, he helped us out, in someway
hahax
aniwaez, gonna listen 2 it real soon!

oh, abt d song in my blog, pls let it load 1st
it takes quite some time
pls be patient, ok?
respect...

haiz...

2007-11-03T23:47:00.000+08:00

haiz...
so boring sia...
runnin out of money...
can't go out much
still haven't learn any song 2 play...
gotta try harder...
man...
when am i gonna hav fun???
how am i gonna hav fun???
if i say i wanna work, parents wont allow
4 sure...

aarrgghh!!!!
stuck in dis house lyk a pig in a pen(no offence faris)
n i've been thinkin abt wad's 2 come 4 next yr
i will hav no one 2 confide in
gotta do things on my own
lemme see, new maytes
i guess
hopefully nt meetin any same ol' faces in front of class
haiz...
kinda missin skool rite now
or i guess i shud say i miss my maytes
hmm...
any1 gt any suggestions on wad i can do during hols?
hopefully i dun rot or decay thruout d hols
uh-oh
i dont wanna grow fat!!!

guitar!!!

2007-10-31T20:18:00.000+08:00

wassup peeps!!!
dis mornin, woke up at, err, 1pm
hehe
well, when i woke up, some1 was at d door
well, it was ikhsan, my mayte
well, he came wif d guitar!!!
my eyes bcame 'wide open'(juz woke up)
well, kinda nice u noe, cherry red colour
hmm, $150 for a 2nd hand electric guitar, ok lah
aniwae, i 4gt how 2 tune...
*sobs*
hehe, silly me
well, haven't played it yet
bz 4 d whole day, hehe
well, i guess, tts it
haiz, luckily bought tt guitar
if nt, hols is gonna be damn BORING!!!

last day wif 2/4 in class

2007-10-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

orite2
no more cryin peeps

dis is lyk a cycle man...
i mean, it will oways be dis way
it happened aftr PSLE, n now
n most prob latr durin graduation
n aftr JC or poly
n maybe aftr university

life goes on
pull urself 2gedder, orite?

ohk, ms soh sent d pics we took juz now
n err, here they r...

amirah is bleddy mad cuz she didnt get 2 take d pic
wif mr liaw
n faris is sitting beside him
tts d worst thing tt could happen
wait, i cant find fei yang
he shud be wif mr liaw as well, hehe
there's ur chairperson rite there, on a chair
n i 'm standing beside a faceless loges
but seriously, after zooming in2 d pic,
i still cant see his face!
aniwae, juz so u noe, i'm smiling in d pic
which, u shud noe wad u will see

ohk, dis 1 is wif ms soh
faris is giving a stern look
wah, fierce seh! hahax
oh oh oh, in dis pic,
I'M HOLDING UP MY FALLEN TOOTH!!!
hahax, nouice nouice!(nice, nice)
i 4gt 2 remove it from my wallet, hehe
i guess i'm gonna name it 'The Fallen One'
hehe

oh, dis pic is specially meant 4 me!!!
thank u ms soh!!!
man i look silly
w/o tt front tooth
how's my smile??
am i cute?
isn't it great???!!!
hahahahahahahahax
oh, 4 ur info, my "adam's apple" is nt exactly straight
it's a lil' 2 my right
weird...

hahax
ohk peeps
hope u guys stay smiling
cuz dis ain't d end of ur life!!!
oh, n where will u guys be heading 2?

(amirah, u will oways stay as my 'sis'
n u can't deny tt!!!
oh, i tried 2 draw a caricature of u in d sketch bk u gave
right on d 1st page, hehe
n plz gimme a pic of shai,
cuz i wanna try n draw him)